« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 29   Go Down

Author Topic: worst sexual experience ever  (Read 145844 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Viherminttu

  • Moderator
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1860
  • Karma: 26
  • Gender: Female
worst sexual experience ever
« on: October 22, 2006, 07:55:52 am »
my worst sexual experience.. i was 17, my american boyfriend was visiting me. we decide to do the deed. he was........crap. i lost my virginity because of 3 minutes of uNfuNFkdonenow. -_-

then there was that time my current boyfriends mother heard us at 3am.. oops. i think thats why she hates me now. IM DEFILING HER LITTLE BOY!!!11
Logged
<WereVolvo> moar sid! new album sux! music vid sux! machinae are sellouts! where i find crappack lulz? when is page getting updated? gief moar free songs plx. zomg plz come to the US/UK/Mars/Alpha Centauri! when r u guyz gonna do a tour? i think u shuld come to this festival it wuld be gr8!

Offline Irrationalist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2240
  • Karma: 2
  • Gender: Male
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2006, 08:41:32 am »
LOL, I'm still a virgin but I know I'll last longer than 3mins ;D , thats fucking funny. Not all Americans have such problems, however Draconis might......
Logged

Offline Fallout

  • Machinae Prime
  • *****
  • Posts: 6430
  • Karma: 71
  • Gender: Male
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2006, 08:58:17 am »
Quote from: LunarLoki on October 22, 2006, 08:41:32 am
LOL, I'm still a virgin but I know I'll last longer than 3mins ;D , thats fucking funny. Not all Americans have such problems, however Draconis might......

Hahahah. Trust me. Your first time, it'll all be over in seconds. You'll be lucky if you last a minute.
Logged

Offline Irrationalist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2240
  • Karma: 2
  • Gender: Male
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2006, 08:59:07 am »
Quote from: ffaalloouutt on October 22, 2006, 08:58:17 am
Quote from: LunarLoki on October 22, 2006, 08:41:32 am
LOL, I'm still a virgin but I know I'll last longer than 3mins ;D , thats fucking funny. Not all Americans have such problems, however Draconis might......

Hahahah. Trust me. Your first time, it'll all be over in seconds. You'll be lucky if you last a minute.

Lol, sheer willpower man, sheer willpower........
Logged

Offline Fallout

  • Machinae Prime
  • *****
  • Posts: 6430
  • Karma: 71
  • Gender: Male
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2006, 09:03:09 am »
Quote from: LunarLoki on October 22, 2006, 08:59:07 am
Quote from: ffaalloouutt on October 22, 2006, 08:58:17 am
Quote from: LunarLoki on October 22, 2006, 08:41:32 am
LOL, I'm still a virgin but I know I'll last longer than 3mins ;D , thats fucking funny. Not all Americans have such problems, however Draconis might......

Hahahah. Trust me. Your first time, it'll all be over in seconds. You'll be lucky if you last a minute.

Lol, sheer willpower man, sheer willpower........

Willpower doesnt matter. It's not a matter of willpower, its a matter of williepower. lmfao.

Just trust me, you will not last over a minute on your first time, unless you fuck like a turtle.
Logged

Offline Ant

  • Donated so refic can buy beer
  • Community Supporter
  • Machinae Prime
  • ******
  • Posts: 4372
  • Karma: 40
  • Gender: Male
  • It's personal text.
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2006, 10:01:18 am »
My first time...lots of beer everywhere on the floor, me not fitting into her, her hitting her heads lots, and after (worst bit) i said, 'yeah i finished a minute ago' .. why didn't i say kthxdonebai?
Logged
Quote from: Gazus on October 28, 2007, 06:23:16 pm
But if one day we meet together while I'm drunk, I promise you to draw a big group sex picture including a lot of forumites. :D

Ich bin ein Berliner, Frankfurter, Hamburger und Bonner

Offline Viherminttu

  • Moderator
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1860
  • Karma: 26
  • Gender: Female
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2006, 04:17:21 pm »
at least women can be a bit more... lasting.. their first time :P
Logged
<WereVolvo> moar sid! new album sux! music vid sux! machinae are sellouts! where i find crappack lulz? when is page getting updated? gief moar free songs plx. zomg plz come to the US/UK/Mars/Alpha Centauri! when r u guyz gonna do a tour? i think u shuld come to this festival it wuld be gr8!

Offline Cerapter

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1949
  • Karma: 74
  • Gender: Male
  • 100% Recycled
    • Home
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2006, 05:37:23 pm »
Quote from: ffaalloouutt on October 22, 2006, 09:03:09 am
williepower
I'd applaud you if that hadn't messed up your karma status quo. ;D

I'm a virgin still. Haven't found the right Pokémon yet.

So I've gained enough wits to trust I'm not going to last long the first time. Knowing what to expect, I won't go about creating any disappointment. The very first time is just a warm-up round anyway.
Logged
Just close your eyes and keep your mind wide open.

Offline Fallout

  • Machinae Prime
  • *****
  • Posts: 6430
  • Karma: 71
  • Gender: Male
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2006, 05:53:08 pm »
Oh, dont worry. I dont mind applauds now, I welcome them. :)
Logged

Offline SpeedD

  • Machinae Prime
  • *****
  • Posts: 3384
  • Karma: 46
  • Gender: Male
  • Canada, BITCH!
    • Egg!
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2006, 10:00:11 pm »
Quote from: ffaalloouutt on October 22, 2006, 09:03:09 am
Willpower doesnt matter. It's not a matter of willpower, its a matter of williepower. lmfao.

I laughed. Actually, I read that this morning and laughed about it at work. Congrats Fallout. You made a funny.
Logged
"What I felt was turned, in the tempest forged to hate. My soul I disconnected, and called out the Lightbringer to the gate."

Offline Ant

  • Donated so refic can buy beer
  • Community Supporter
  • Machinae Prime
  • ******
  • Posts: 4372
  • Karma: 40
  • Gender: Male
  • It's personal text.
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2006, 12:23:16 am »
Quote from: Dimruthien on October 22, 2006, 04:17:21 pm
at least women can be a bit more... lasting.. their first time :P

This was after 8 minutes or so :P
Logged
Quote from: Gazus on October 28, 2007, 06:23:16 pm
But if one day we meet together while I'm drunk, I promise you to draw a big group sex picture including a lot of forumites. :D

Ich bin ein Berliner, Frankfurter, Hamburger und Bonner

Lexx

  • Guest
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2006, 02:52:34 am »
Worst experience.. well there have been a few (too many..) experiences that just shouldn't have happened in the first place.. but weren't bad themelves.

And first times can generally be ignored, since they're intrinsicly bad. Not that I remember mine.

Quote from: LunarLoki on October 22, 2006, 08:41:32 am
LOL, I'm still a virgin but I know I'll last longer than 3mins ;D

How do you know? Do you masterbate 20 times a day to build up that penile stamina?

Quote from: Dimruthien on October 22, 2006, 04:17:21 pm
at least women can be a bit more... lasting.. their first time :P

The advantage women have is they can generally, more easily keep going after that point.. (sometimes weather they like it or not)
« Last Edit: October 23, 2006, 03:04:56 am by Lexx‬‬ »
Logged

Offline Outboundlight

  • Renegade Anarchist Folk Hero
  • Global Moderator
  • Machinae Prime
  • *****
  • Posts: 7752
  • Karma: 152
  • Gender: Male
  • Rogue World Asylum Seeker
    • No Art Films
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2006, 03:34:21 am »
hoo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o boy... where to begin...


I think the all time worst may have been when I got caught having sex in the toilets of a childrens amusement center at about 4am while wearing a tuxedo.


I swear to god I'm not even making that up.
Logged

Offline SpeedD

  • Machinae Prime
  • *****
  • Posts: 3384
  • Karma: 46
  • Gender: Male
  • Canada, BITCH!
    • Egg!
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2006, 04:00:26 am »
Quote from: VisionThing on October 23, 2006, 03:34:21 am
I think the all time worst may have been when I got caught having sex in the toilets of a childrens amusement center at about 4am while wearing a tuxedo.

Damn.

That makes one fucking good story. Or one good fucking story, as the case may be.
Logged
"What I felt was turned, in the tempest forged to hate. My soul I disconnected, and called out the Lightbringer to the gate."

Offline Viherminttu

  • Moderator
  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1860
  • Karma: 26
  • Gender: Female
Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2006, 01:29:50 pm »
Quote from: VisionThing on October 23, 2006, 03:34:21 am
hoo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o boy... where to begin...


I think the all time worst may have been when I got caught having sex in the toilets of a childrens amusement center at about 4am while wearing a tuxedo.


I swear to god I'm not even making that up.

* Dimruthien laughs!

good going, peej :P so who caught you? an 8 yr old?
Logged
<WereVolvo> moar sid! new album sux! music vid sux! machinae are sellouts! where i find crappack lulz? when is page getting updated? gief moar free songs plx. zomg plz come to the US/UK/Mars/Alpha Centauri! when r u guyz gonna do a tour? i think u shuld come to this festival it wuld be gr8!
Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 29   Go Up
« previous next »