Unlike what Gravehill said, people can change. People can change a whole lot, for better or for worse. It's all about what they experience. I'm a different person today than I was five years ago. Obviously, there are similarities, but I am still not the person I was. There have been fundamental changes to my worldview, and there have been less groundshaking changes.
Now I know I should have sent that longer version instead of this where I cut the story short. First of all I was about to define what I mean when I refer to individual. I see individuals as "well". When you look at them, you only see the surface and see what kind of waves wind or dropping object creates there (how people react to certain things). You don't know how deep one is : is it 10 metres or 10 centimetres. When one does experience about that "well" you slowly learn more about how deep it is. Still you see only surface. Who is brave enough to dive into well? Who knows what kind of monsters lies there waiting for their victim? When your in love mutually each other grants other access to one's secret world, at least some part of it. You gradually learn to see deeper. All the pain and joys that unify you shows more light to abyss of your mate's well. In some point one's own well and other's well are unified and there is much same water running on them. But the heavy water in the bottom of the both well stays same.
This my view of human soul or existence is quite hard to describe so please be patient. I try my best effort and hopefully someone understands what I mean.
So, the well of human soul is on two layers : first there is that water we want (or let) others to see. It's very lightweight and constantly changing. Then there's heavy water, our inner self, secret creature oslt. It's very vulnerable and it tries to keep away from light (not to be seen). When one is in love that creature comes visible to partner and there is possibility that that our most genuine and real self gets rejected. It hurts like a hell. But when someone loves that creature with all it's mistakes and ugliness it feels good. Still even that loved one cannot see whole truth. There is always something secret from loved ones, even from person itself. For example, I'm always searching and exploring my well. There's nothing new there, not since teenage. Same water everywhere but still I keep finding things that I've never found out before. Still, when I think about it I can see them as a part of my life so long as I remember. It's just I've never thought of them, accepted them or found them. They've always been there, acting behind shadows.
Well my theory about people changing goes like this : yes, people can change on certain degree if you think only what you see as "well" or it's surface. But the creature inside, heavy water, the true self, cannot change. People can change their behaviour or their life but they cannot change themselves. Deep inside there's still that same motor running no matter how chromed the outside is. Sure, it might seem like a big change when you see that someone from outside. And some even feel that way when their reflecting themselves. I know, because I once did. How people interact with other people, how they move, speak and do things. What they say and how they lay. It's still all only surface. It's flesh that we see, not soul, and the soul stays same.
Like me, for example. Nowadays I'm much happier than I was on my teens. At same time I've felt such pains and sadness that I never thought were possible. People see that happiness because that's what's on the surface. I smile a lot, talk about positive things, laugh and most of time I'm in good moods. It's harmless, fun and bright side of me. Pain, sadness and sorrow lay little deeper. Only closest friends see them and understand them. They are always there but they are in control. Even deeper there's layer my loved one sees : it's almost 100% true me. There are only few things that she cannot see. On the other hand there were no words for me to decribe them to her even if I wanted to. I know those things do exist but they are too abstract to tell, beyond any human vocabulary. I think that she have felt or sensed something sometimes but like I said - they are things even I cannot understand wholly or see clearly enough.
All this "changing" is a matter of control and experience. People learn by experience. There are inner motives, things that keep us rolling and then there is urge to do as those motives command us to do. Then there is control over motives. Let's take LUST for example. Amount and direction of lust varies among people. So does control over it. Some people know how to control it, some do not even bother trying. Every motive can be controlled. It's not really question if people are weak or strong but it's about how strong is their motivation for control. And control is as strong as motivation of control. What one can achieve by doing as motive urges? What harm or greater good there were if one does not do it or do it? Is the amount of time and energy worth doing it? Let's take example.
There is a boy and an appletree. Appletree lies at neighbours side. There are delicious, red apples and boy LUST over apples. There are some problems thou. Neighbour is a strict man who consider taking an apple as stealing. And he has big dog too. What would boy do? Save money to buy apple? Try sneaking there daytime when dog is in but man is watching? Try sneaking nighttime when dog is out but man is sleeping? Try getting apple when they both are hunting ducks at pond but when parents are watching? Is it easier to be without apple at all? When there were possibility that no one sees but all the apples from low are taken is it worth effort to climb on tree and take apple there? Is it better to wait if there's better opportunity? What if there is no better opportunity? If there were opportunity boy still feel it was wrong but does amount of lust go over his morals? Is it only morals that prevents him or is there some concrete fear behind that too?
If that dog has bitten boy he would not select time when dog is on watch because of fear. He have learned that over experiment. Killing dog over apple is not very clever thing to do especially when he would be suspect number one. Has that dogbite changed boy? I bet he still lust over apple and dreams about it. He just don't do anything because he control his urge because of fear. Same goes with everything.
We might learn by experience and alter our behaviour or life but the inner person stays same. Same goes with ageing and hormones : boy will grow up and became man, girl becomes woman and so on, to the grave. There is some maturing and learning through life but eventually people's inner self changes very little. I do believe in lifelong learning. I do believe that people might become "better" - not because they have changed but because they have learned to control their actions better, more creatively and more responsible way. In that way, people can change. One can't see how deep that change is. Still they are same ones there deep inside. Tiger is still tiger even when it's tamed.
I know it's not very clear presentation but it's best that I can do for now. I hope that someone understood that. In the matter of fact it's not far away from the ru's comment nor from Torp's comment.
*Sigh*
These things are complicated.
