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Forum Related => Salvaged Messages => Topic started by: chompy on March 24, 2004, 12:34:13 am

Title: Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: chompy on March 24, 2004, 12:34:13 am
As the seen in this thread (http://hazul.net/machinae/index.php?board=5;action=display;threadid=231;start=0), I think it is time for another round of ..... CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE THREAD, take 2.

As stated in that thread above
Quote
Rule choose an option, write more stuff about it, then make about 3-5 other options for the other users. Use your Imagination, I know how crazy some people here are!!.  Let me start
Try to keep writing from anywhere between a sentence to a page. Put your thinking and imagination caps on and have fun.

You have just woken up from sleeping and just finished typing out this thread. What will you do next:
 1 - think to yourself "I should do something"
 2 - Do something
 3 - Go back to sleep
 4 - Bring dog for walk
 5 - Increase your skills by studying a bit more
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Outboundlight on March 24, 2004, 03:16:55 am
2. Do something

You immediately get up and begin to dance around the room. Feeling invigorated you then:

1. get dressed
2. get washed
3. eat breakfast
4. check the time
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Layson Juravis on March 24, 2004, 07:05:28 am
4. Check the time.

Holy moly! It's 4:30 am, you usually don't get up that early, nonetheless the vigor given to you from the dance prevents you from going to bed again, so you decided to get dressed. However you forgot to do the laundry and realize that all your clothes are dirty, except for a chicken suit, your hockey equipment and an itsy tinsy binsy winsy yellow polka dot bikini.

What do you put on.

1. The chicken suit
2. The hockey gear
3. The bikini
4. Pick up random clothes from the dirty bin
5. Screw that! If these are my options, I'm wearing nothing
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Smeagol on March 24, 2004, 06:57:39 pm
4


You pick up Guybrush Threepwood style clothing off the floor and put it on.

What do you do now:

1. step outside into the big wide (and downright crap) world
2. make food
3. go tell people to die from a window in your room
4. crap on the aforementioned people out of a different window

Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Laser.T on March 24, 2004, 09:05:30 pm
2 - make food. [u need something inside you to be able to crap on the people outside ;)]

As you're stomach grumbles you walk over and open the fridge. Inside, you find it is full of ice and some runny green stuff which you'd rather not know the origin of. All that is left that is edible is a small measly egg.

What do you do with it?

1 - Scramble it
2 - Fry it
3 - Boil it
4 - Poach it
5 - Throw it at those people outside
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Gravehill on March 24, 2004, 10:09:13 pm
2) Fry it

When you try to break the egg to pan it suddenly opens and there flies off little dragon with purple haze eyes... It flies from window and you jump out of it too in order to get it back. After you dive out from window you suddenly remember that it's third storey where you live. As you fall you...

a) try to remember what that guru said to you about levitating back three years ago
b) pray
c) move you hands swiftly and try to learn to fly
d) yell "mommy" and take a freeride
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: chompy on March 25, 2004, 01:07:15 am
c) move you hands swiftly and try to learn to fly

You try to move your hands to fly but as you all should know Guybrush Threepwood doesn't fly. You HIT the ground with enough force to break you legs, but alas you do not. Apon getting backup you remeber you have the "Guybrush Threepwood" costume on soo you do all of this crazy stuff. Whilst attempting to get back up you see a cup of groggocino (from Starbuccaneers) fall out of you pocket, what do you do:

 a) Have the groggocino
 b) Go back inside your unit to look for more food, to be able to poop on other people
 c) Go for a drive in you'r car
 d) Try to find somthing to change into
 
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Smeagol on March 25, 2004, 07:35:32 pm
a) have the groggocino

You drink the groggocino(tm?) and then walk around for while. Where do you want to go:

1) home
2) bank
3) bar (would insert SCUMM but that'd be takin it too far)
4) skyscraper
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: MDX on March 25, 2004, 08:35:57 pm
4)

You figure "hey if i can do 3 storeys and survive.. why not 50!".. You get into your car and drive to nyc.. the bigg apple..

Upon arriving you realise to your horror this is the first time you have ever been to nyc, and realise that "the big apple" was not simply slang.. the entire city is a giant apple.. you park your car in a giant seed gap and exit the vehicle.. looking around you you scratch you head, wondering what the hell you do next..

do you:

1/. Cartwheel to the nearest person, because if you live in an apple.. things have gotta be done in cartwheel form, surely. (Don't call me surely)

2/. Fall to the ground in hysterics and begin screaming and laughing until the appulance.. (apple equiv to ambulance) takes you to the nearest appotalisbi.. er, hostpital ^_^ i mean you're bound to find out more information at a hospital.

3/. Whip out a guitar and begin busking..  remeber you need money for food so you can head home and shit on those people from your window.. unluckily.. you only have a 2 string guitar.. hmm

4/. Scrape some of the walls for apple content and head home, it's still food.. so it's still good, thats your motto! (Welll its mine but you can have it, its on ebay right now actually.. going onto 6th bid, 10 quid for a phrase.. sweet)

5/. Wake up, it's all a dream.. and you took a whole bottle of blue pills last nite that some dodgy black dude in a trench coat gave you, jesus.. thats the last time i go to a swingers bar.. oh cool a red pill jar, *gulp*
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: chompy on March 26, 2004, 07:43:20 am
3/. Whip out a guitar and begin busking..  remeber you need money for food so you can head home and shit on those people from your window.. unluckily.. you only have a 2 string guitar.. hmm

So you cartwheel back to your car parked in the giant seed gap. You grab your two sting giguitar and a crate that just happens to be in the boot(trunk) of your car. You cartwheel, back to the main entrance of the bigg apple. Upon arriving at the entrance to the bigg apple, you see the Bigg Banana neighbouring(neighboring) the Bigg Apple, what do you do:

 1 - Place the crate on the ground and play you guitar, at the front gate

 2 - Cartwheel to the Bigg Banana, then walk by hand stand, because thats how they do it at the Bigg Banana

 3 - E-bay your items on ebay, and hope you get enough for food to be able to poop on those other people.

 4 - Get your guitar to scrape off the apple content and head home, using your crate as a holding area for the apple.
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Laser.T on March 27, 2004, 03:29:58 pm
1 - Place the crate on the ground and play you guitar, at the front gate

While you're playing, some ass from the Bigg Banana cartwheels over and steals your hat and Guybrush Threepwood, leaving you totally naked in a strange place with only a guitar to call a friend. (and it hates u too)

Despite this you keep playing. At then end of the day you count up you're winnings. Even though you're a terrible guitar player, people seemed interested in this nude person on the street. How have you collected?

1 - $10

2- $15

3 - $50 and a Dime bar

4 - $55, a Dime bar, two pieces of gum, a badge with no pin and a torn off copy from a porno magazine

5 - Nothing, but u did get picked up by the police.
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: sobella_science on March 28, 2004, 08:19:02 pm
5 - Nothing, but u did get picked up by the police. (but you would've wanted nr.4)

At the station you got laught at and humiliated by the other inmates, while most of the cops gave you comments about your butt.

1. You do whatever you can to get out of there, even call your mother in law who is the judge of the district.


2. You think you saw Boy George down the hall earlier, and you'd like to stay for a while...


3. You sell your precious guitarr and buy yourself out of there and borrow a cops uniform to get yourself home safely. But halfways home you get mugged and being left naked again but this time in China Town.


4. You got panic, and screams like a monkey in a cage.


5. You starts up a band in prison, and call yourselfs "The bloody straitjackets" Later on you get a hit called "Mickey Mouse from hell"
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: chompy on March 29, 2004, 03:00:21 am
4. You got panic, and screams like a monkey in a cage.

The police comes over to your holding area (notice how I didn't say cell, more like an unlocked room). So anyhow you still scream and the police are on the say. They enter the room looking at you in awe, you have a chane to explaine yourself:

 1 - Try to explaine yourself

 2 - Do the runner and RUN!!!!! Knowing that you would probably not make it out of the station.

 3 - Crack open your 2 stringed guitar and play some music. Then to sell it off to get a "get out of jail free" card. and borrow a cops uniform to get yourself home safely. But halfways home you get mugged and being left naked again but this time in China Town.

 4 - You say hi!!! to Boy George, as he is walking past you'r holding area. Then try to explaine yourself
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Outboundlight on March 31, 2004, 06:09:02 pm
4 - you say hi to boy george and then try to explain yourself.

"Hi! George" you say, "Hiya" he replies. Just as you open your mouth to explain yourself to the cops  boy george does a spinning fly kick, knocking him out!

what do you do now

1. passionately kiss george for saving you

2. take the cops uniform and do a dance with george

3. take the cops uniform and get out of the station

4. take the cops gun and riddle boy george with bullets
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Laser.T on March 31, 2004, 08:39:42 pm
4 and then 3

While Boy George is distracted by a small pink aubergine in the street outside, you bend down, grab the gun and blast the full magazine into him screaming "I never like Karma Chameleon anyway!" Now dead on the ground, and surrounded by a pool of blood you give him a quick prod to check that he's dead.

You then take the cops uniform and leave the station. (But before you do you leave the naked and unconcious cop in a sexy position in the arms of the dead Boy George).

As you're legging it out of the police station's front doors you don't noticed road works going on in front of the building. Suddenly you find yourself plunging down a 1000 feet deep manhole.

What are you gonna do?

1 - Try flapping ur arms again

2 - Learn Buddhism

3 - Approach the earth's core

4 - Land in the bottom of a sewer covered in god-knows- what.

5 - Sing.
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: sobella_science on April 01, 2004, 01:41:08 pm
1 - Try flapping ur arms again


...and when you notice it actually doesn't work, you;

1. Try to flap even more - just in case it begins to work before you hit the ground.

2. Land in the bottom of a sewer covered in god-knows- what.

3. You turn your behind towards the ground and begin to fart much as you can to slow down the high speed.

4. Take it easy and begin counting sheep - it's sweeter to hit the ground when asleep.
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: chompy on April 03, 2004, 02:39:54 am
2. Land in the bottom of a sewer covered in god-knows- what.

3. You turn your behind towards the ground and begin to fart much as you can to slow down the high speed.

Both 2 and 3, you fart hard, then you produce a fart buscuit that hits you in the face. And you are like all ewww... that was a bad one. CRASHH you hit the ground with tremendous fource. Everything is ok, you landed in "god-knows- what"  (mainly sewage). Out of confusion you manage to get up and support yourself on the wall.

Ye find yeself in yon sewage. Ye see a SCROLL. Behind ye SCROLL is a FLASH. Obvious exits are NORTH, SOUTH, and Dennis.

What wouldst thou deau?

 1 - Look for a ladder to try and climb out of

 2 - Get Scroll

 3 - Go South, North or Dennis (you choose)

 4 - Get Flask

 5 - Wait for someone to rescue you
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Outboundlight on April 05, 2004, 07:25:22 pm

nice strong bad quotes  ;D ;D

4. go Dennis

You decide to Dennis, as you do a squad of cheerleaders appear from no where and chant

"Gimme a D, gimme a E gimme Double N I S! what does it spell? DENNIS! Go0o0o0o0 Dennis!"

as the cheerleaders run off into the distance, pom-poms waving frantically you:

1. wonder why the events in your life seem to be controlled by some unkown force, not unlike the whims of insane forum regulars.

2. decide to go to www.homestarrunner.com (http://www.homestarrunner.com) since you have no idea what is going on

3. Go looking for a bar. you need a stiff drink.

4. go looking for a shower, you need a stiff clean
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Laser.T on April 11, 2004, 12:56:46 am
1, 3 AND 4

As you plod through the dark, smelly sewers, you suddenly find a seedy, smoke-filled bar just around the corner. You step out of the brown stuff onto a marble floor. and as you walk towards the bar you noticed to suit-clad servents washing the floor after you. You sit on a stool and call to the barman for 30 vodka and whisky shots - just for starters.

As you sit, drinking your shots one-by-one and wondering 'why the events in your life seem to be controlled by some unkown force, not unlike the whims of insane forum regulars' you are suddenly sprayed by a showerhead just over your head that you had'nt noticed before.

Your cop uniform is now soaking wet - but at least your clean.
Without an answer to your question what do you decide to do.

1. Go off searching for that squad of cheerleaders. (Even if they can't give you answers you may have a good time ;).)

2. Decide to go to www.homestarrunner.com (http://www.homestarrunner.com) since you have no idea what is going on

3. Pre-order Deus Ex Machinae and wait a month (under the shower) until it is delivered.

4. Wonder why a bar is located in the middle of a fully-operational sewer-system.
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Smeagol on April 17, 2004, 02:19:40 pm
2) go to www.homestarrunner.com

you find a laptop(also in the sewer bloody amazin that sewer...) and go to homestarrunner but not having the flash plugin and not wanting it either (
FLASH IS EVIL FLASH IS EVIL!
) you decide screw it

what do you do now?

1) sit in someones crap until something GOOD  happens

2) look around for a cd player with 2 machinae CD's ;D

3) figure if it's a sewer there's gotta be rats and rats are edible...
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: MDX on September 16, 2004, 03:03:45 pm
3) figure if its a sewer theres gotta be rats and rats are edible.

You grab one.. you rip its head off with your teeth.. "rambo gone wild" style.. and then you begin searching for an exit with your new energy found..

You see a light at the end of the tunnel.. and a ladder right beside you.. but you hear burly sex models coming from the end of the tunnel.. do you?

1) Climb the ladder.. no burly model could lead me into a mysterious tunnel.. *snigger*

2) Follow the light, SEXY PARTAYY!! WHOOO!

3) Stand there.. and spontaneously combust... honestly
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Laser.T on September 16, 2004, 08:44:35 pm
1) Climb the ladder.. no burly model could lead me into a mysterious tunnel.. *snigger*


In order to protect your innocence you climb up the ladder, push open the manhole and climb out.

You find yourself in a land of green rolling hills, bright colorful flowers, and many horny rabbits hoppity-hopping around. Not unlike TeletubbyLand.

Unfortunately, on every horizon you see an army of Tinky-Winky's amassing, all with their red handbags full of bricks and waving them about their heads threateningly. There is no escape, only back down the manhole back towards the burly sex models.

What do you do now?

1) Return back down the manhole. Surely you will lose your childlike innocence.

2) Remain and get beaten to a pulp by the BBC's first predominantly gay children's character.

3) Remain and fight back, with your Dipsy (Jamiroquai -style) hat, Po red ball and that wierd blue vacuum cleaner thingy.
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Einkoro on September 16, 2004, 10:20:32 pm
Welcome to Start Trek MUD!
 
 Please choose a character:
 1 - Captain
 2 - Science Officer
 3 - Red Shirt Ensign
 
 > 3
 
 You beam down to a strange rocky planet and die before the first commerical break.
 
 Do you want to play again? [y/n]
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Laser.T on September 16, 2004, 11:08:01 pm
Welcome to Start Trek MUD!
 
 Please choose a character:
 1 - Captain
 2 - Science Officer
 3 - Red Shirt Ensign
 
 > 3
 
 You beam down to a strange rocky planet and die before the first commerical break.
 
 Do you want to play again? [y/n]

Applaud for that!!! LOL! In a nutshell!
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Boaz on September 17, 2004, 01:35:24 am
lets continue this form the last post that made sense

1) Return back down the manhole. Surely you will lose your childlike innocence.

you run form the evil teletubies and go down the manhole, you see the burly ladies in the distance, you decide to sneak byt them in the shadows hoping they wont see you, but once u get close ur spotted! you:

1)try to figth them knowing ur about to be beaten up by a bunch of girls
2) run back to the pub and get so drunk that you wont remeber if they "do" anything to you
3) whip out the magic laptop and show thme magicmans ass slapping pichu hoping it will amuse them
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Outboundlight on September 17, 2004, 05:31:53 am
If I was you, and dont get me erong - I'm glad I'm not, I'd probably pretend to have chlymidia
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: MDX on September 17, 2004, 03:06:13 pm
way to ruin it all.. with your yellow forms and "DONT GET ME WRONG" comments. Ill kill you next dawn vt.. i bid you good day.. good day meaning bad day that is.. and bad day... meaning good pie.. pie anyone?
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Bates on September 17, 2004, 07:43:38 pm
> 3
 
 You beam down to a strange rocky planet and die before the first commerical break.
 

Tasha Yar also managed to pull that off. What a suckeress...
Title: Re:Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Torp v2.0 on September 21, 2004, 01:21:34 am
1)try to figth them knowing ur about to be beaten up by a bunch of girls

You decide to fight the girls, knowing it will spell doom to you. However, as you're about to take a punch at the first woman, you remember your code of honour, dictating that you shouldn't hit girls unless your life depends on it.

What do you do?
1)Decide that you're life actually do depend on it, and strike her.
2)Decide that something more important than your life is at stake here, and whip out the glocks you got from the police station.
3)Try to talk your way out of it.
4)Inquire about the rather beautiful, lithe girl in the middle of the cadre of women.
5)Stand there in quiet resignation as they lead you to pleasure-filled doom...
Title: Re: Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Lysander on June 12, 2006, 02:00:56 am
6) Ressurect a potentially cool thread

Suddenly, a gigantic wrench wielding badger appears. Do you
1) Run away screaming for help
2) Attack the badger full on
3) Calm it down with some loving sounds.
4) Attempt to tame it and ride it into the horizon.
Title: Re: Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Laser.T on June 12, 2006, 03:01:00 pm
5) Threaten to lock thread and question Lysix why he didnt bother just starting an entirely new adventure thread in General.

/me does so...
Title: Re: Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Jack Lupino on June 12, 2006, 03:19:38 pm
4) Attempt to tame it and ride it into the horizon.

You fail and it tries to eat your foot.

1) Grab a log and trash its skull
2) Sing "Toora Loora Loora"
3) Go to sleep
4) Wake up
Title: Re: Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Smeagol on June 12, 2006, 03:29:01 pm
1)

You try to trash its skull, but it turns around and eats you.

YOU DIE

END
Title: Re: Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Jack Lupino on June 12, 2006, 08:59:15 pm
Fiindil dies

1) piss on his corpse
2) call a nercophiliac
3) sleep
4) wake up
Title: Re: Choose your own adventure thread - Take 2
Post by: Bates on June 12, 2006, 10:01:00 pm
3) sleep

And so the unholy resurrected thread sleeped another x days.