Author Topic: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:  (Read 27688 times)

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MDX

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #15 on: March 08, 2008, 04:53:50 am »
Say to your parents, that MDX said it's all ok. And to be fair, it was always ok. Always. So stop worrying.

Offline Gravehill

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #16 on: March 08, 2008, 05:01:27 am »
Some parents are somewhat overreactive. All the people I know have got broken hearted atleast once in their life. No real risk in there as it's quite probable thing to happen if one puts everything on game called love. What becomes to murderer / rapist theories... Well, that's bit too much but some parents just are like that :D I mean such fears are not logical... I'm sure if someone would try to do something bad he would not show his picture beforehand so that there would be evidence who was the villain. Surely such person would not travel by airplane to destination so that it would not leave marks on registries both on aviation company and customs. And besides : he stays on your home... Isn't that most secure place in earth to meet some guy?

Anyway... Best way to deal with this situation is to tell your mother that you know the risks and that you are extra careful. Protective parents won't ever believe that there is no risk. Not until the person has achieved their trust. Even after that they might be suspicious. Partly they are right since there's always risks involved when two people will meet. No matter WHERE they meet.

The main question should be : do they trust in you and that you can take care of yourself? Do they trust your ability to evaluate situations and make alternative plans IF something doesn't go as planned? That you can be careful and keep things safe? That you don't take unnecessary risk? Do they trust that they've teached and that you've learned how to survive a date? If you can assure your parents that you're aware of risks and know how to deal with situations they feel less worried over you.
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Offline harvey danger

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #17 on: March 08, 2008, 08:20:58 am »
I'd suggest allying yourself with your dad and nagging her relentlessly. After all, it's a child's duty to give their parents gray hairs before their time ;)

Of course YOU would say that. >:( Still behind on child support payments... *grumble*


Try letting her talk to him on Skype/webcam. Or even just the phone. The fact that he's not forty should help alleviate some of her insecurity.
That's the problem with heroes, really. Their only purpose in life is to thwart others. They make no plans, develop no strategies. They react instead of act. Without villains, heroes would stagnate. Without heroes, villains would be running the world. Heroes have morals. Villains have work ethic.

Offline Annie

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #18 on: March 08, 2008, 10:26:21 am »
I don't know, but I think maybe part of your mothers skepticism comes from the fact that it's not a bit of a long-distance relationship we're talking about here, you two actually live on two different continents. She might be a bit afraid that she'll lose you to overseas or something.

That's a definite. Both of my parents were both slightly paranoid that I was planning on going to London and not coming back. But no matter how many times I assured them and would pretty much prove that there was no way that was gonna happen, they were still paranoid. I think/hope that fear has passed, now. Otherwise they aren't gonna let me go to London. >: I WANNA SEE A GIANT NEEDLE SHOOTING HEROIN INTO GOD'S ASS CHEEK.

The idea of meeting someone over a computer is absurd to any over forty. I told my parents i met my best friend on World of Warcraft (who i love very much. the friend, not the game xD), and they gave me a weirdass look.
Anyway, what can you do? Convince them you mean serious business. Try get ant to talk to your parents more, perhaps build up the trust so they can see he's not some peado ready and raring to do you in his white van.

You're so right about the over forty thing. The select few people of my family whom have heard about this disapprove or are super nervous and prejudice and all that jazz. But my father, he accepts that times are changing and that stuff like this can happen, they just take work. My mother is just like, HOW CAN SOMEONE LIKE SOMEONE SO FAR AWAY I DON'T GET IT and it's like blarghagerbg, and, my father has sort of spoken to Ant and likes him so far, but my mother refuses to talk to him, at all. :\ I've seriously sat her down and been like, "Mom, if you wanna talk to him, you can. You can talk to his mom if you want, too. Ant agreed to it and doesn't mind, and I don't think his mother would mind," but her answer is always, "I don't wanna fucking do that, I have no reason to," or something else like that. It's always a No, though.. And about your best friend, I have had an online friend for 5 years+, and my mom knew about him when I first met him, and knows I still talk to him quite often, but she's still convinced he could be a 'bad guy'. I just.. I don't know. I don't understand her. Does she just not want to be wrong?

If I was you, I would try to sit down with her in a calm and quiet environment and just talk. Agree beforehand that the talking shouldn't become heated. I'd arrange it so that we'd sit at about the same level, and not across from each other, but rather, say, side-by-side in a comfortable sofa, and have a little bit of snack and drink you both enjoy available. I would try to show her that I still love and care for her, that I could still be her little girl as well as a grown woman with a boyfriend, and try to convince her that I did in fact have genuine feelings for this boy.

I believe I could make my mother see reason, or at least approach the situation with an open mind, that way. She'd understand that this was important to me, and try to support me in it. Of course, I don't know your mother, so I can't say if it would work for you.

Haha, it doesn't work. That's how I've tried it everytime. I'll admit, I've started yelling at her first once or twice, but she usually is the one to start snapping at me and raising her voice to me. She's terribly stubborn.

just get him to say one word to your mother with that smooth accent and she'll melt like butter.

It's an awesome idea, I love it. xD I hope it works. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA AND CRUMPETS MISS ANNIE'S MOTHER. PISH POSH.

Say to your parents, that MDX said it's all ok. And to be fair, it was always ok. Always. So stop worrying.

"But MDX is online! THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY BEFORE THEY KIDNAP YOU AND RAPE YOU OMGZ." D:

Anyway... Best way to deal with this situation is to tell your mother that you know the risks and that you are extra careful. Protective parents won't ever believe that there is no risk. Not until the person has achieved their trust. Even after that they might be suspicious. Partly they are right since there's always risks involved when two people will meet. No matter WHERE they meet.

The main question should be : do they trust in you and that you can take care of yourself? Do they trust your ability to evaluate situations and make alternative plans IF something doesn't go as planned? That you can be careful and keep things safe? That you don't take unnecessary risk? Do they trust that they've teached and that you've learned how to survive a date? If you can assure your parents that you're aware of risks and know how to deal with situations they feel less worried over you.

Do they trust me? No. Though I don't lie to them. I mean, their lack of trust is sort of justified. I'll admit, I'm not the most mature person in the world. But they think I have no experience at all with the bad things in the world. They think I'm some innocent, naive angel, but, I'm not as naive as they think. I know that I don't know a lot about the world. I know you, Gravehill, know a lot more than I do. But they just don't think I know anything. I hate it. Most of their paranoia comes from television, news, TV court shows.. I've seen them, just like they have. Even if was all 100% true, I've still seen what they have, but they just think I deny that anything bad in the world can happen. No matter how many sit down serious conversations we have, no matter how much I explain about what I know about life, they give me no credit. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. They can be pretty cool about most things, except when it's about me growing up. They have a really tight fist on me, especially my mother. Hopefully this event will help her learn.

^________^ Thank you guys. Even if I didn't quote you and didn't reply to something you had to say, I definitely took it to heart, and I just didn't want to have to repeat myself a bajillion times and get even more annoying. A lot of this has helped, including venting. If you have anything else to add, please, do. I really appreciate this. Honestly.

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Annie, you ain't fucking human.

Offline Ant

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2008, 12:36:24 pm »
No way in hell am I saying Pish Posh :/ Well, unless your dad holds a shotgun to my face... then maybe.

My mum was the same when I first went to Sweden to visit Drain... "WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO MEET SOMEONE ONLINE?! MY CHILD IS ALREADY DEAAAD WAHHH". And no matter how much I argued with her she wouldn't accept that I was going to be fine and Johan was in fact, a dude. In the end she sent my brother with me (which btw, cost me extra money because we then had to stay in a hotel as there was no room in Johan's flat with 2 of us). Anyway, we went, Johan was cool and we had an awesome time, and now my mum is cool with the whole online thing... hence why she likes you Annie ;D

Oh, Sirix, yes I'm very English... maybe I get lazy on the T's from time to time but apart from that, I'm as English as they come, what.
But if one day we meet together while I'm drunk, I promise you to draw a big group sex picture including a lot of forumites. :D

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Offline Jack Lupino

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #20 on: March 08, 2008, 12:54:10 pm »
I'm as English as they come, twat.
Fixed.

You shouldn't worry so much about your mother's approval. Just go with the flow and ignore the subject for now. I don't really know what else to do, my mom is pretty much awesome aswell.  ;D

MDX

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #21 on: March 08, 2008, 01:10:09 pm »
You can't rape MDX, only love him. With consent.

Offline Torp v2.0

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #22 on: March 08, 2008, 01:18:55 pm »
So you're saying, whatever kind of sexual situation you get into, you consent to it?

Hmmm...
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Offline PrescriptiveBarony

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #23 on: March 08, 2008, 01:26:08 pm »
You can't rape MDX, only love him. With consent.

smells like a challenge!


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MDX

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #24 on: March 08, 2008, 04:54:24 pm »
So you're saying, whatever kind of sexual situation you get into, you consent to it?

Hmmm...


Well, no you can only love MDX, with HIS consent.. or ITS, it's a disputed issue. Since when did love have to initially be related to sex?

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #25 on: March 08, 2008, 04:57:55 pm »
So you're saying, whatever kind of sexual situation you get into, you consent to it?

Hmmm...


Well, no you can only love MDX, with HIS consent.. or ITS, it's a disputed issue. Since when did love have to initially be related to sex?

Since the evolution/creation/whatever of man, evidently.
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Offline Carstuar

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #26 on: March 08, 2008, 06:53:39 pm »
There is nothing you can do.

They're immune to logic.
QFT
I don't think there's anything you can do to convince your mom, besides proving her wrong when he comes to visit you.

I started a relationship online once, and we met in person a couple of times. She could probably have been the love of my life, but the distance turned out to be a much bigger obstacle than we'd expected, so it came to an end. It was probably mostly my fault, since I'm a very impatient and passionate person, and couldn't stand to be without her for long periods of time.
What I'm trying to say is: Good luck to you both. I hope one of you is really wealthy or has some way of obtaining super-cheap airline tickets, or that you both possess the patience and dedication that is needed.
I seek only where to find you

Offline Deep

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #27 on: March 08, 2008, 07:14:08 pm »
I had an internet girlfriend once, I'd known her for about 3 years online and we were really close. I was really dedicated to her but it killed me that I couldn't see her, and I couldn't go out and see real girls either. Eventually I'd had enough and couldn't wait any longer, so I arranged to meet her. It was a really expensive flight to America, and after trying everything possible, we just didn't click. I had to stay there for a week, too - sleeping on the sofa no less. Awkward meals with friends and family, and it really didn't work out. Wasted a shit-tonne of money on flights and renewing my passport etc, and nothing came of it. Got back home and like a week later I picked up my girlfriend of nearly 2 years now on a night out.

In my opinion? - Internet relationships fail.

MDX

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #28 on: March 08, 2008, 07:20:44 pm »
So you're saying, whatever kind of sexual situation you get into, you consent to it?

Hmmm...


Well, no you can only love MDX, with HIS consent.. or ITS, it's a disputed issue. Since when did love have to initially be related to sex?

Since the evolution/creation/whatever of man, evidently.


Unfortunetly i know many who do not see both sex and love in the same boxes. In the sense that they would need to love somebody before having* sex with them, but rather, just love to have sex.


Sorry im pushing this topic off its hinges now and then with my useless drunk banter, well the first comment was drunk, but anyway. Annie whats your plan?
« Last Edit: March 08, 2008, 07:28:11 pm by megadökyo »

Offline Lexx

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #29 on: March 08, 2008, 07:46:43 pm »
In my opinion? - Internet relationships fail.

+1 if I were able.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2008, 09:39:05 pm by Rehevkor »
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