Author Topic: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:  (Read 28759 times)

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Offline Annie

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Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« on: March 07, 2008, 05:39:36 pm »
So, I know there's a select few people on here who don't care to hear about my relationship with Ant, but, too bad for you. Don't read this. But, for anyone who can put up with my complaints and my yearn for your guys' opinions, I'd love to hear them. (No, this isn't for relationship advice xD)

So, Yes. Me and Ant have an online relationship. I BET NO ONE HERE KNEW THAT. He lives in London, England. I live in Wisconsin, United States. That's pretty far apart. 3,000 miles+. I know that. We both do. But so far, it's been working out excellently. Now, I don't know if you know this. He's coming to visit me on April 3rd. He's staying here until April 11th, and then I'm going back with him to London until April 20th, if everything works out well. Anyway. For this to happen, I had to tell my parents. Now that sucked. They, especially my mother, don't approve of even having friends online. Anyway.

So, at first things were cool. Since it's less than a month away, I've been super excited and hyper and talking about it lately. I've spoken to my father about it, and he actually kind of approves. He isn't negative about it. He is so glad to see me happy. He likes Ant. But.. my mom. God, my mother. She's SO negative about it. She keeps pummeling me with questions. "What if he is a murderer? You know there is stuff about people meeting online and girls getting raped and killed all the time." And I normally retaliate with something like, "Yeah, and girls meet people at parties and at WalMart and get raped and killed, too." And she asked me, "Are you gonna be heartbroken if he doesn't show up?" She doesn't believe me that we have feelings for eachother. I mean, I know some people don't approve of online relationships, some people do. Most of you know Ant and I don't think you guys see him as a liar or a rapist or anything. (I hope not! :B) Anyway, she doesn't believe that he is real. We've booked the plane tickets, hotel rooms, everything. But she still doesn't believe me. She refuses to. I can't stand it. She isn't happy that I'm happy. I don't know. I don't understand. Hell, even Ant's mom likes me, but my mother refuses to acknowledge his existence or that someone online could possibly have feelings for me. And I keep telling her, "Well, this is why he's coming over here, so you can get to know him, and see that he's real. But if I'm wrong, I'll admit it." Stuff like that.

What can I do, guys? What should I say? Do you think there is anything I can explain to her, besides telling her his life story because I've done that already, to make her believe me? I don't know. Fuck, one of my cousin/aunt things met her husband online, so why is she so against what I have now? I need opinions or something, please. I was thinking about asking my Dad to talk to my Mom about it, comfort her or tell her to lighten up. I don't know.

Can I get some help? (Yes, selfish. I know.) Please. D:
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Offline WereVolvo

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2008, 06:05:13 pm »
Well, I'm fairly sure Ant isn't a random murderer, since he went over to visit Drain last year, and didn't rape/murder/eat him as far as I know (he even got the pictures to prove it, I think). Though now that I think of it, I haven't seen Drain around lately...

joking aside, though... she's your mom, and she's protective of you. Hard to change that, and I think the only way getting her to change her mind is to make her meet Ant in person.

I'd suggest allying yourself with your dad and nagging her relentlessly. After all, it's a child's duty to give their parents gray hairs before their time ;)
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Offline Annie

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2008, 06:09:46 pm »
Haha, my parents ARE meeting him in person. They are the ones driving me to the airport :B And he's staying here, with me and my family, for the weekend. And meeting a lot of my other family members since he's attending my grandfather's birthday party with me.

I think the Dad thing could work. I hope so.
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Offline Sirix

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2008, 06:45:29 pm »
get your mom to sign up to the forums and participate in this thread :)

be sure to direct her towards Holy Macaroni as well.

that should do it.

Offline Lexx

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2008, 06:46:15 pm »
Move out of home.
DRAMA

Offline Torp v2.0

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2008, 07:27:51 pm »
I don't know, but I think maybe part of your mothers skepticism comes from the fact that it's not a bit of a long-distance relationship we're talking about here, you two actually live on two different continents. She might be a bit afraid that she'll lose you to overseas or something.
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Offline Laser.T

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2008, 08:52:50 pm »
Overprotective mother, don't be angry with her. The fact she is worried you'll get raped means that she cares about you. If she didn't care, she'd be kicking you out of the house and telling you to sod off to England with your new boyfriend.

She'll worry about it until he actually turns up, so all I suggest is baring with it for the next month. That's a long time, but just remember that you have parents that love you and always will.

Offline Cerapter

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2008, 10:13:43 pm »
She'll give in when she sees you two being all cute together.

Might be she's just anxious to lose her motherly control over you. Aka. she doesn't want you to grow up. It's irrelevant how old you guys are. All mothers are alike.
Just close your eyes and keep your mind wide open.

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2008, 11:03:30 pm »
Parents are generations behind us. Try watching my stepdad use a computer and he hits the keys like a typewriter.
THUD.
THUD.
THUD.
THUD.
The idea of meeting someone over a computer is absurd to any over forty. I told my parents i met my best friend on World of Warcraft (who i love very much. the friend, not the game xD), and they gave me a weirdass look.
Anyway, what can you do? Convince them you mean serious business. Try get ant to talk to your parents more, perhaps build up the trust so they can see he's not some peado ready and raring to do you in his white van.

Offline Leissi

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2008, 11:11:46 pm »
give your mom a good ol' slap in the face and tell her to mind her own business.

I understand parents being nosy about relationships but if she's beating it down all the time I suggest doing what I just told you to.
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Offline SpeedD

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2008, 11:35:22 pm »
There is nothing you can do.

They're immune to logic.
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Offline WereVolvo

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2008, 11:36:14 pm »
There is nothing you can do.

They're immune to logic.

In other words, like most parents out there.
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Offline CrunchyLizard

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #12 on: March 08, 2008, 01:15:50 am »
As people have said, she is a mother after all and as such she is protective of her child. Maybe let her talk to Ant before he comes to visit you so she can get used to the thought of it before getting a "stranger" from overseas thrown at her - maybe even to "steal" her daughter! *gasp*

Basically she acts like a mother does, and there's not much to do about it. If everything else fails, comfort yourself with the thought of her being proven wrong in less than one month when she meets Ant in person :)

Offline Torp v2.0

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #13 on: March 08, 2008, 03:27:20 am »
Parents are generations behind us. Try watching my stepdad use a computer and he hits the keys like a typewriter.
THUD.
THUD.
THUD.
THUD.
The idea of meeting someone over a computer is absurd to any over forty. I told my parents i met my best friend on World of Warcraft (who i love very much. the friend, not the game xD), and they gave me a weirdass look.

Mine aren't like that. Fuck, my mother once suggested I'd join one of those dating sites. ;D

My parents are, in fact, awesome.

But, yeah, as people have said, your mother is really just doing what any mother who loves her li'l girl would do, fret over all the potential bad sides and being afraid of losing you, of you growing up and becoming a young woman instead of her little girl.

If I was you, I would try to sit down with her in a calm and quiet environment and just talk. Agree beforehand that the talking shouldn't become heated. I'd arrange it so that we'd sit at about the same level, and not across from each other, but rather, say, side-by-side in a comfortable sofa, and have a little bit of snack and drink you both enjoy available. I would try to show her that I still love and care for her, that I could still be her little girl as well as a grown woman with a boyfriend, and try to convince her that I did in fact have genuine feelings for this boy.

I believe I could make my mother see reason, or at least approach the situation with an open mind, that way. She'd understand that this was important to me, and try to support me in it. Of course, I don't know your mother, so I can't say if it would work for you.
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Offline Sirix

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Re: Opinions? Honestly? Please. D:
« Reply #14 on: March 08, 2008, 04:46:11 am »
oh, wait, does Ant have an english accent?

he totally does, doesn't he!
no wonder you fell for him?

just get him to say one word to your mother with that smooth accent and she'll melt like butter.

once when I worked at Subway a british couple came in and were all "can we get a sub?"
and I was all *swoon*

so yeah, it's a good plan :)