Author Topic: The Lateral Thinking Contest  (Read 24930 times)

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Offline cloudstrifex

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #90 on: December 20, 2007, 04:53:48 am »
And the winner is... Moheeheeko!

Offline Moheeheeko

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #91 on: December 20, 2007, 09:05:09 am »
thank you thank you ill be here all week!    O0

ok here goes


Tom and his younger sister were fighting. Their mother was tired of the fighting, and decided to punish them by making them stand on the same piece of newspaper in such a way that they couldn't touch each other.

How did she accomplish this?

(standard answer: Tom's mother slid a newspaper under a door, each sibling standing on each side.)




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Offline Torp v2.0

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #92 on: December 20, 2007, 11:16:14 am »
1. Well, Tom and his sister were goldfish (yes, were. What do you think putting a goldfish on a piece of paper outside of the water does?). They were therefore so small, they could be put on different parts of the newspaper without touching, and they didn't have the out-of-water coordination to get over to each other.

2. Tom and his sister are both arm-and-leg-less cripples. It was a large paper. They were therefore unable to move.

3. Mom bound their arms behind their backs and used some interesting contraptions that were probably better fit for her basement dungeon, and indeed was from it (she was a dominatrix, and the kids fighting had disturbed a session she had with a client. Having kids suddenly running around screaming at each other can kill anyone's sexual excitement. Well, unless you're turned on by that sort of thing. You sick fuck) around neck, midsection and each of their feet so that they couldn't move them any closer (think metal bars).

4. As above, only instead of disturbing a session, they were the session, a couple that came to her to play brother and sister in some sort of infantilistic probably incestous sexual fantasy (no, they were not really related. It was all a fantasy of theirs).

5. Screw the newspaper. It was a boring punishment anyway. You don't think a dominatrix has some more interesting ways of punishing her kids (or clients, depending on what the case is here)?
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Offline Jack Lupino

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #93 on: December 20, 2007, 01:06:44 pm »
Tom and his sister were fictional characters created by the brain nebulae in the woman's head. This, being caused by a brain surgery from a bullet wich entered her head in a alley brawl shooting.

To make any sense of it all i need to go back to the day it started.

I was having a jack in my regular pub when the clock rang twelve. It made no sense. Why was the clock devided by integers?
Why was the kicken on the shelf instead of the fish in the tuna? The case was baffeling enough to blow this nation wide open.

I decided to push my luck on any number big enough to keep the woman quiet : Mr. Billion.


answer : 1,000,000,000.


Case closed.

Offline Laser.T

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #94 on: December 20, 2007, 01:44:33 pm »
It was a Fucking Big Newspaper. For giants. On steroids.

Offline Ant

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #95 on: December 20, 2007, 02:53:47 pm »
She paper mache'd (there should be an accent on e in mache) then super glued each child to each side of the newspaper, she then slotted one of the children into a glass box and accidentally suffocated that child. She's now serving 26 years in a high security prison for man slaughter.

A diagram:

                                                           O
                                                          -|-
                                                  _____ /\____
                                                 |(lack \ /     |
                                                 |of    <|>    |
                                                 |air)    O     |
                                                 |__________|
But if one day we meet together while I'm drunk, I promise you to draw a big group sex picture including a lot of forumites. :D

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #96 on: December 20, 2007, 06:24:48 pm »
The paper was really really sharp, and the resultant blood loss from the paper-cuts made both kids pass out.

Offline Gravehill

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #97 on: December 20, 2007, 09:34:51 pm »
She did post their pictures on local newspaper. In those pictures they are standing, each one on their own side of middle opening, not touching eachother. Under the picture there reads "Fighting siblings are stupid and laughing stock of whole neighbourhood. If this person in picture does not better his/her ways this newspaper will reveal some of their most shamefull secrets. Signed : your mom."
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Offline Ant

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #98 on: December 20, 2007, 09:36:18 pm »
She did post their pictures on local newspaper. In those pictures they are standing, each one on their own side of middle opening, not touching eachother. Under the picture there reads "Fighting siblings are stupid and laughing stock of whole neighbourhood. If this person in picture does not better his/her ways this newspaper will reveal some of their most shamefull secrets. Signed : your mom."

LOL, I bet your kids behave ;D
But if one day we meet together while I'm drunk, I promise you to draw a big group sex picture including a lot of forumites. :D

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Offline evilcandybag

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #99 on: December 20, 2007, 10:15:00 pm »
She did post their pictures on local newspaper. In those pictures they are standing, each one on their own side of middle opening, not touching eachother. Under the picture there reads "Fighting siblings are stupid and laughing stock of whole neighbourhood. If this person in picture does not better his/her ways this newspaper will reveal some of their most shamefull secrets. Signed : your mom."

LOL, I bet your kids behave ;D

He's not a mum, is he?
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Offline Gravehill

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #100 on: December 20, 2007, 10:47:22 pm »
She did post their pictures on local newspaper. In those pictures they are standing, each one on their own side of middle opening, not touching eachother. Under the picture there reads "Fighting siblings are stupid and laughing stock of whole neighbourhood. If this person in picture does not better his/her ways this newspaper will reveal some of their most shamefull secrets. Signed : your mom."

LOL, I bet your kids behave ;D

He's not a mum, is he?
Not only mum but your's mum :D
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Offline harvey danger

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #101 on: December 20, 2007, 11:53:43 pm »
She put the newspaper in a very tight space (such that the children would have to be touching the walls on either side), and then attached thousands of positively charged magnets to one child, and thousands of negatively charged magnets to the other.
That's the problem with heroes, really. Their only purpose in life is to thwart others. They make no plans, develop no strategies. They react instead of act. Without villains, heroes would stagnate. Without heroes, villains would be running the world. Heroes have morals. Villains have work ethic.

Offline Moheeheeko

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #102 on: December 21, 2007, 05:40:54 am »
to everyone's great shock (yes, including Rad) i have to go with Rad

Fire away!


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Offline PrescriptiveBarony

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #103 on: December 21, 2007, 10:15:55 am »
She put the newspaper in a very tight space (such that the children would have to be touching the walls on either side), and then attached thousands of positively charged magnets to one child, and thousands of negatively charged magnets to the other.

(that would stick them together)


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Offline Jack Lupino

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Re: The Lateral Thinking Contest
« Reply #104 on: December 21, 2007, 01:51:28 pm »
to everyone's great shock (yes, including Rad) i have to go with Rad

Fire away!
Muhahah.

Allright. Its on now, on a friday noon, im tired and hungover, at my desk at work so im going all out.

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Shadow drove into the Speedy Service Station and pulled up to the pumps. "Fill it up, please," said Shadow. "This may sound strange," said the owner, "but I'd rather fill two cars from out of town than one car from this town." Shadow looked across the small town and replied, "I know just what you mean." The sun struck eleven, when the handle came down. It was not where he left them.
How many piles of leaves would shadow have to transport to Cuba?