Author Topic: Sorry for.... everything?  (Read 14643 times)

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Offline iggMaN^

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Sorry for.... everything?
« on: March 19, 2007, 10:31:12 am »
Well, since I get this feeling that I just cause shit around the forum, I've decided to maybe leave it, maybe not delete my acc, but leave it for unknown time. And please, if I do something good, please tell me what, I will better myself. I really do not wan't to leave this place, it rocks. But please EVERYONE forgive me for my lack of maturety. I hope that you guys/girls will take this seriously.
AND RAD, DON'T.
I hope that I've done something good here, and if I did, please tell me.

Summary: Tell me what I am doing wrong and help me become a better forumite, yes I know that there is a topic, but I do not know what I am doing wrong... Besides, that topic is just an attemt to create the "perfect" forumite. Though everyone know that a forum would really suck if everyone was like that. :P So please help me undo my wrong.

Tell me what good I do so I can do more of that, or stronger, or whatever I am doing good. If there is something.

Offline Cerapter

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2007, 11:23:27 am »
The only problem is age. There's nothing wrong with you or the way you behave here, really. But the vast majority of members are much older and naturally find your behavior unsuitable. You're being held outside because you're just a kid and because you act like one.

You've got bad luck, is all. You clearly like MaSu, so this community is a logical choice, but you won't and you shouldn't fit in a this time. You should have some years of freedom first, some years of fun, before you grow tired of forums and posting and the internet altogether and gain the ability to understand this community and others like it. You're ahead of your own time, being here in the first place. This community is bad for you, and not a good place to grow up. You should rather have joined a community with a younger and friendlier member base.

So don't let the resistance you experience here affect you. And good luck.
Just close your eyes and keep your mind wide open.

Offline iggMaN^

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2007, 11:36:01 am »
The only problem is age. There's nothing wrong with you or the way you behave here, really. But the vast majority of members are much older and naturally find your behavior unsuitable. You're being held outside because you're just a kid and because you act like one.

You've got bad luck, is all. You clearly like MaSu, so this community is a logical choice, but you won't and you shouldn't fit in a this time. You should have some years of freedom first, some years of fun, before you grow tired of forums and posting and the internet altogether and gain the ability to understand this community and others like it. You're ahead of your own time, being here in the first place. This community is bad for you, and not a good place to grow up. You should rather have joined a community with a younger and friendlier member base.

So don't let the resistance you experience here affect you. And good luck.

Yes maybe I should, but, the thing is... Damnit, how to say this without act like I am bragging, look, I am much smarter than the awarage 14yo. There is almost no place on the internet where 13-15yo's are enough intelligent! Trust me, I've looked. 99,99% of all forums there is that I have been on, has extremely bad gramatic, for example:

iggMaN says:
Well, I really think that the Ps3 is going to own Xb360, though I have tried Wii Sports, it was awesome to, so I don't know who is going to win? I think it's a tie between Ps3 and Wii. XB360 can go away.

Museln replies:
well yaa ps3 roxx grfik is lik soo nisee butt wii is kool 2 so fun to play!

Note: Maybe a little worse spelling, but you get the point.

Offline gaijin

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2007, 12:07:46 pm »
... forums there is that I have been on, has extremely bad gramatic, for example:...


Bad grammar.

Anyway, I don't know how to say this without sounding insulting. It's not about intelligence. It's about social skills.
Oi, is this when I get a huge sig-image, start whining about "moar sid" and make nonsensical arguments to no good?

Offline iggMaN^

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2007, 12:15:41 pm »
... forums there is that I have been on, has extremely bad gramatic, for example:...


Bad grammar.

Anyway, I don't know how to say this without sounding insulting. It's not about intelligence. It's about social skills.

Well, not mainly, it is because I am still "new" here, I mean, Rad does basicly the same things that I do, though you have accepted that, because he has been here a long time, unlike me. That is kinda "unfair". I mean, have Rad been banned? No, have Rad been insulted for 87% of his posts? No. Why? Because you have accepted his way. Yet you cannot accept mine, and you are not trying to help me either, yes, maybe in the beginning, a little, after that it was 2 bans and then just flaming.

Offline Kobi

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2007, 12:33:52 pm »
... forums there is that I have been on, has extremely bad gramatic, for example:...


Bad grammar.

Anyway, I don't know how to say this without sounding insulting. It's not about intelligence. It's about social skills.

Well, not mainly, it is because I am still "new" here, I mean, Rad does basicly the same things that I do, though you have accepted that, because he has been here a long time, unlike me. That is kinda "unfair". I mean, have Rad been banned? No, have Rad been insulted for 87% of his posts? No. Why? Because you have accepted his way. Yet you cannot accept mine, and you are not trying to help me either, yes, maybe in the beginning, a little, after that it was 2 bans and then just flaming.

That is a proof of social skills. I'm not to keen on Rads behaviour but somehow he has made it clear that it never was very serious. I've seen that on other forums, the popular guy can do a little what he wants but mimicing ends up in trouble. As has happened now. I persoanlly never joined here with the intention to get that kind of high-post-coount popularity if that was what you were after. You should see this as a good lesson already. Considdering your age its about learning to behave (talking a little put of the box here since I don't visit dayly and have not seen all your misshaps). You'll see the big picture in the future, maturity is not a thing you get thought, you learn it.

Offline gaijin

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2007, 12:42:24 pm »
Well, not mainly, it is because I am still "new" here, I mean, Rad does basicly the same things that I do, though you have accepted that, because he has been here a long time, unlike me. That is kinda "unfair". I mean, have Rad been banned? No, have Rad been insulted for 87% of his posts? No. Why? Because you have accepted his way. Yet you cannot accept mine, and you are not trying to help me either, yes, maybe in the beginning, a little, after that it was 2 bans and then just flaming.

Actually, it -is- about social skills. And if i'd hazard a guess, i'd say rad's had a few conflicts as well. Although, you are correct in that we aren't trying to help too much. This is a forum for a band, not for self-improvement. We've told you what's unacceptable, and if you can't abide, then you shouldn't be here. In all honesty though, you have had spurts of time when you've been acting nice and being entirely tolerable, although.. you have a tendency to lash out and be rude now and then, and that's not really acceptable for someone who's been tossed out twice for being a jackass.

But as I said,  you have improved, and this time, i don't see why you are leaving.
Oi, is this when I get a huge sig-image, start whining about "moar sid" and make nonsensical arguments to no good?

Offline Gravehill

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2007, 02:00:35 pm »
There has been really good points stated already and I have only little to add. Understanding why something is acceptable and something else is not takes social skills. Those improve only with social actions and feedback that's received 'cause of them. Forums like this are bad place for improving social skills because it's only text you see here. You don't see facial expresses, changes in body language or tone & loudness of speech. These are basic feedback which are telling in what point discussion is going. When you miss these early signs next step is when fist ends up in your eye IRL. Now, in forums you really have no way spotting those signs. Someone might try to say something nicely or tries to change subject but these are really easy signs to miss. So for one with poor social skills it seems that out of sudden someone just says something really nasty (hits with the fist, so to speak). Repeat this for long enough and you get bad reputation because others start to get annoyed for one not being able to learn those social rules. And that's only because you learn them mostly from interaction IRL. Communication in web is in one sense more free than IRL but in some sense one has to be even more cautious. IRL you usually know those who you are talking with and their backgrounds and so you know what's suitable thing to say and what's not. Here it takes time to get to know everyone, their habits, points of pain and so on... And still whatever you say it's public so everyone can read it which makes things even more complicated.

Forums like this are really complex systems. Let's take an example. Family : it's clear from the start which are roles and rules. You are born in this community and you are raised to it's rules and roles. If someone outsider comes to family he must adapt to those rules to be able to feel welcome. Usually guests are welcomed and honored in certain ways, depending on one's age, gender and status. Father and mother might speak differently to guest than kids are allowed to do and so on. When you're talking about school class it's different case all together. Roles and rules start to evolve from day one, part of which are forced by teachers. Family has given some grounds for social skills but school is where they start to shape, really. It's more difficult and complex environment. You can broaden this to village, town, government and so on, depending your life situation and surroundings. Most difficult places for social interactions being bars just before light signal, snack stand after bar and forums like this.

I don't know if this is any help but social skills are hard to learn in web communities. They come with age and experience. I have to say thou that you've improved from what I have seen and thread you made about tiredness was not that bad either. I think that you've got in position where you've got certain label and it's hard to get rid off. That label affects everything you do. But eventually that label changes if you just keep on doing things other way. Changing that label will take time and effort, that's for sure. I hope you best of luck whatever you do.
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Offline Sirix

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2007, 02:27:14 pm »
Igg.

the thing that bothers me the most about you by -far- is your tendency for
100% useless thread starting.
you've never started a thread that i've thought "oh, that looks like a good idea."

this isn't an instant messenger where you can just tell your friends about your disgusting toe and get laughs.
your threads are way too much about yourself.

I'm never usualy annoyed by your posts by themselves.
so perhaps, unless you have a really brilliant idea for a thread, just stick to replies.

Offline iggMaN^

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2007, 02:55:21 pm »
Igg.

the thing that bothers me the most about you by -far- is your tendency for
100% useless thread starting.
you've never started a thread that i've thought "oh, that looks like a good idea."

this isn't an instant messenger where you can just tell your friends about your disgusting toe and get laughs.
your threads are way too much about yourself.

I'm never usualy annoyed by your posts by themselves.
so perhaps, unless you have a really brilliant idea for a thread, just stick to replies.

Okey, I will do that, though most of the threads I have started were in random, just because I knew they weren't enough material for general or some other category.

Offline Fallout

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2007, 03:36:34 pm »
There isnt any way you can improve really, other than grow up a little. There is no consistency in the error of your ways, you just act extremely immature.

Case one: your avatar, av text, and signature. You'd be best just to drop all of it completely, because to be blunt it makes you look like an asshole. Especially the "THE MESSAGE I WROTE MI..." etc etc. Not good man, it looks stupid. I know it (might?) be in humour, but it.. isnt funny.

Case two: if you know people dislike you, dont create threads that you know will make you look stupid. if you dont see that the thread will make you look stupid, ask someone (anyone!) if it'd be stupid if you posted a huge picture of your mangled toe on forums with complete strangers on. Why did you even post that dude?

At your age, you'd be best to sit at the sidelines and occasionally post in one or two threads. Be a lurker, but for godssake, be a likeable lurker. What I also think might help, is take some advice straight from me: Occasionally, I type out a long post, and I sit there for a second, read through it, and then I decide that I wasnt even going anywhere with it, and delete the entire post and come back to it later or something, or just not even post at all.

In short: Remove all avatar, avatar text and signature text, post less, ask before you post.
Oh, and go out and make some friends - you know, real people. You may learn some social skills from them.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2007, 04:03:25 pm by fallout­ »

Offline Torp v2.0

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2007, 04:02:29 pm »
Well, I actually don't think you're that bad. But then again I had to live with Fiindil and a lot of other forumers back in the days when they were 14-15 years and, well, acted like it. At that time, they were a sizeable portion of the forum demographic, and moderators were more lenient/non-existant, so nothing happened to them. In time, they grew to lose their old ways and become accepted. In the case of Fiindil, he was actually even so ashamed of many of his posts, he went back and deleted them. Yes, he read through his entire postcount (which was even then several thousand posts long) to remove those that were, well, stupid. I call that destruction of forum history, but I also call it a great dedication towards self-betterment.

You do have times when I feel like groaning, though. Remember that thread, quite recent, when Gravehill wrote a poem with "your eyes make me hard like gaze of medusa"? You replied by adding "part of me" to the line. I do believe all of us got the dirty joke from Gravehills poem (first of all, "get me hard" will often refer to that part anyway). What you did there was overstating a joke, destroying the subtleness and so on. It's okay, I tend to overexplain things myself once in a while, though you should really work to not do it. What made me really feel like groaning was the post after that, which sounded very attention- and confirmation-seeking, and maybe a bit whiny.

I do think you're doing better, though. When you first came here, a much greater part of your posts would be flagged in my brain for being irritated over. Unlike, it seems, many other members, I don't think there's a need for you to leave completely. Just start thinking thrice before you post, and it might actually help quite a lot.

Oh, and I'd just like to point out one thing: When people here say you lack social skill, it's compared to the rest of the forum. It seems to me you've got social skills on about the same level as most in your age group, maybe even slightly above (and I actually know a few, to a limited degree - my brother's a year older than you, though I'd put him and his best friends at a social skill level above average for the age), and that is usually quite a lot lower than that of the social skills of the average user in here (I believe the age in here averages at around 20?).

Fallout actually has a good number of points. I must admit I have similarly pretentious sig text, but mine's an actual quote. And I am better than everyone else (;D). Actually, I kinda love your sig text as it is now. "Everything written approved by Gordon (Gordon might not have approved)".

Create less threads. This makes you less obvious. A stupid post is quite easy to ignore, but a stupid thread is not as easy.

To summarise: Think thrice before posting. Post less (a natural effect of thinking "is there a point to posting this", which should be the first part of "think thrice"). Create fewer threads. To get your reputation up, keep away from Random and post on topic in the other boards.

Or just become a girl, and everyone under the age of 20 will love you regardless. :P
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Offline Fallout

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2007, 04:11:25 pm »
I must admit I have similarly pretentious sig text, but mine's an actual quote. And I am better than everyone else (;D).

Yeah, but you get away with that because you're awesome (at supcom :()

Offline cloudstrifex

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2007, 04:14:45 pm »
I think part of that problem is that the people of this forum are (for the most part) educated and have a lot of common sense, which I like. Here it is possible to have an intelligent debate before going off topic after half a page. Whereas other forums are like "ya i rly liek that sistm 2 is pree kewl." etc. etc. Yeah so I agree with the other people about going out to learn things and learn how to spot the "signs" Grave talked about.

Offline Fallout

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Re: Sorry for.... everything?
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2007, 04:35:18 pm »
That's a damn good point actually cloud. You find with this forum that we are (as you say, for the most part) well educated, and we're all pretty mature when it comes down to it. Our offtopicness is a break from all the serious discussion, the Random board is a place to vent, to have a laugh, but most of us go back to our mature sides when we post in the other boards. You.. dont have a mature side, or so it seems, so we just see you as immature.

If you show us the mature and sensible side of you, maybe we will ignore your immature side?