Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

[Kobi]

I don't. Rather interesting. Right now I'm wondering weather I'm a sissy or gay.

Avatar says gay.


I tend to read most of Gravehill's posts. But alas, I'm too lazy to respond to most of them.

Figures, just becuase a guy can like cute stuff he's gay. Weather that is someting I'll go on pondering about don't matter, prejudice is never a good thing. Time will tell.

[Jack Lupino]

I have a social Phobia.............. I just have trouble talking to people in person unless we're good friends.

Woah, are you... Me?

INTERNET DOES NOT OWN SOCIAL LIFE DUMBASSES

[Trias]

I masturbate, I eat chocolate, and I play games, but it's not the same. I just want to be loved.

haha, this sounds so great... no really now, must be the wisest thing you ever said, get an applaud from me!

Regarding Gravehill's posts, I sometimes skip them (depends on the topic and if I'm in a hurry), and sometimes they are too esoteric for my taste, but I liked the ones here, especially the first one! Nice!

However, regarding men acting differently than women when it comes to touching  (people of the same gender) etc., I'm afraid some of that behaviour could be 'hardwired', not just a result of society's influence. I think a child automatically has a different relationship towards the mother than the father, and if it's only in the first months of life, but this time is very important in development.... hence, this could be a reason  why women act differntly among themselves than men do..

[SpeedD]

Figures, just becuase a guy can like cute stuff he's gay. Weather that is someting I'll go on pondering about don't matter, prejudice is never a good thing. Time will tell.

Well if I do remember correctly, that's a gay furry in your avatar

[Fallout]

Figures, just becuase a guy can like cute stuff he's gay. Weather that is someting I'll go on pondering about don't matter, prejudice is never a good thing. Time will tell.

Well if I do remember correctly, that's a gay furry in your avatar

XD

[Kobi]

Figures, just becuase a guy can like cute stuff he's gay. Weather that is someting I'll go on pondering about don't matter, prejudice is never a good thing. Time will tell.

Well if I do remember correctly, that's a gay furry in your avatar

O rly? So you are keen on that I see. Don't matter to me Its a cute avatar.

[Torp v2.0]

[...]If it's only orgasm that one wants from sex this problem is easily solved since one can usually masturbate. [...]

[...]If it's physical warmth and feeling of closeness (touching, for instance) then it's not directly of sex. Most people need touching and this is something that's what we modern people are alienated from. There's not much hugs or kisses received after one is not little child anymore. Human touch releases stress (if there is no phobia or some other reason that makes people fear touching) so it's something that people miss at times. In some cultures is common to hug, shake hands, kiss or otherwise touch someone when meeting. All these customs serve purpose of creating positive, peaceful bond between individuals. They help to relieve that need of touching too. If someone just want to feel the warmth of other human there are other means to achieve this than love-relationship. Not every love-relationship includes touching (I mean both sex and other ways of physical nearness) which can be sometimes the reason for adultery too. [...] if you have good friendship massaging is something that friends can do to others. In this sense men, or more even teenage boys are in weaker position than females. Females touch eachother lot but males don't in fear of getting "some sort of label".[...] This is very unfortunate because touching others (non-sexual way) is very good for one's own mind and body. And that's something males generally lack. [...] And only way to get that touching is going near female. And to touch her it got to be sexual because when close then there's so many signals that it produces reaction of approval under belly. And that means sexual urge which can be painful CONSEQUENCE of trying to find human warmth.

I wanted to empahsize a couple of the things in that text, simply because I had planned to mention them as well, and then I saw Gravehills nick and figured it was already mentioned now.

I don't go out on town or to a party to try to get laid much. That's not to say I don't go to parties or out on town, just that when I do, that's not my focus. It's simply not worth the work. After 10+ years of self-gratification, I'm pretty damn good at it. Don't misunderstand me here, though. I find flirting to be very fun, and I will flirt with girls I meet. I just don't have that "go out and try to get laid" mentality anymore. If I hit it off well with a girl, and things happen, I won't say no to a bit of fun (not that that happens very often...).

I've been thinking lately that maybe I should get out more to actively search for girls, though. Not with the purpose of sex in mind, but with the purpose of dating and eventually relationships. People say those girls just suddenly show up when you least expect it, but they haven't for me. Or if they did, they somehow suddenly disappeared again before anything happened besides a rush of hormones. Truth is I've never been in a relationship (I mean, apart from silly childhood ones, which don't count), and I'm longing for it more and more. Last girl I was interested in, I can't remember any sexual fantasies in which she figured, but I can remember thinking of how nice it would be to just have her there, in my arms, to feel her touch and hear her quiet breath as she slept. And that's not how it was with my teenage crushes...quite the opposite, to be honest.

And I'm not one of those guys who grew up in a family where touching was taboo. I usually hug my parents good night every evening when I'm home, and when I meet any of my grandparents, aunts, cousins and most of my uncles (and that includes all of those not related to me), hugging is the customary way of greeting, especially on my mothers side. I don't fear physical contact with other people whether they're women or men, and have friends that I irregularly hug (the awkwardness of trying to hug someone who does fear the contact is still there, though). This might actually make the entire thing worse for me, come to think of it, as I'm used to it, and now, as a student in a faraway city, I'm not getting as much of it. The friends aren't enough, I fear.

Fallout: On the hardwire-part: It might be hardwired in the brain, but that hardwiring does not come from the genes, but from early childhood (the brain is still wiring itself up well into our lives, which is in fact why we're so damn good at learning new stuff when we're young).

On a different note, read this. It's primarily a guide to getting laid, but it focuses on getting a girls attention and catching her interest on a sexual level, and as such large parts is completely relevant if you want a relationship as well. Because far worse than not getting a girl is to become "just friends" with a girl you desperately long for.

Or if you just want to get laid and don't care to read the entire thing: Act self-confident, don't supplicate, get somewhere where there's girls, chat up with one of them, making sure to send signals that signify that you are interested in her on a sexual level, make a move, and if you fail, try again with another girl (preferably not one that saw you get shot down, though).

- Masturbation (not surprise?)
- Sports. Move a lot : run, walk, climb - push yourself to the limits. Heavy exercise produces pleasure comparatible to sexual one.
- Eat chocolate. Chocolate produces similar hormones than sex.
- Play games. Building up stress level (at reasonable amounts) produces good hormones. At the same time it moves one's thoughts somewhere else from things that are not so pleasant. It might seem odd but violence and sexuality are not so far away from eachother when speaking in terms of physical reactions.

So, basically, for the best orgasmic experience ever, masturbate while you eat chocolate and play a competetive sport?

[...]length of penis. According to some surveys I've read difference between questionnaires and actual measurements is averagely around two or three centimetres.

Yep. While the popular and self-measured tests say that the average penis size is about 15-16 cm or 6 inches, truth is it's closer to 13cm/5inches.

I would also petition to move this thread into General, as it's far too serious to keep in Random. 

[Fallout]

Yeah. Could this be moved into General, Gravehill?

[Jack Lupino]

Torp, that link is funny as hell

[Torp v2.0]

It is?

I just remember reading it some years ago, and I know there were a couple of rather good pieces of advice in there. Many of them might be rather basic, but that makes them even better and more important if you don't know them.

There was the GM style, though, which is hilarious. Remind me to try that one out one day, just for the hell of it.

[Jack Lupino]

I think we should baptise this thread to the universal : "Help with your relation thread"

As for Fallout, the main thing I put my vibe recently down to is the decision I made to have fun and make meeting women a game. Let's push their buttons this way and see how they respond. What will they do if I say this etc. When I meet someone I'm thinking "What can I learn from you? What fun can I have relating to you?" rather than "Wow, you're gorgeous. Oh shit! What do I say? Do I look OK? Will you like me? ", which are some of the thoughts that used to run through my mind. Its a lot like a rpg game, but saying the wrong shit doesn't make you laugh. Well perhaps it does, but it won't get you anywhere further than a slap in your face.

You basically just gotta get the fuck up and do it. Of course you're feeling uncomfortable the first couple of times, but you just gotta get good at talking. Because as you know, you can only improve your skills by doing it.

[Torp v2.0]

You win, Rad! I had to laugh a little there, and I just increased your karma by 50%.

It's sound advice, though. The best and most basic advice there is.

Of course, most of the RPGs nowadays don't require you to excersise a skill to raise it, so your argument is flawed! (that's the geek in me speaking. Don't ever say something like that in front of a normal, non-geek woman. At least not until you've reeled her in )

[Gravehill]

Figures, just becuase a guy can like cute stuff he's gay. Weather that is someting I'll go on pondering about don't matter, prejudice is never a good thing. Time will tell.

Prejudice ain't good thing but everyone does that every now and then. That's because we read signs from our surroundings and some parts of brains work faster than others (those areas that deal with warning-signs, for example). So those parts that work faster usually work at subconscious levels. And when conscious level notices that thing and starts to ponder about it there is already model how to deal with it... It comes in mind really fast, without much effort. And so, in some sense, every human does prejudice every now and then. It's just what kind of signs we pick up from information flood that's around us. In a sense modern world makes people more numb because these signs who uses subconscious reactions are used all around us : advertisements, perfumes, sound-planning and so on... So there comes massive amount of signs and picking the right ones can be pretty hard. That thing can be learned thou. And learning is another way to have prejudices. But on the other hand, one can learn how to overcome prejudices, too. Deeper those reactions are, harder they are to overcome.

[Trias]

Fallout: On the hardwire-part: It might be hardwired in the brain, but that hardwiring does not come from the genes, but from early childhood (the brain is still wiring itself up well into our lives, which is in fact why we're so damn good at learning new stuff when we're young).

I think you're talking to me here... as far I know, the question how much is determined by genes and how much by experience is still debated. But I was talking about the first months of life and not the genes, anyway, so...

[Gravehill]

So, basically, for the best orgasmic experience ever, masturbate while you eat chocolate and play a competetive sport?

Just think about guy running marathon with his face all around messed-up with brown sticky stuff, pants wet and screaming every now and then "I feel orgasmic!". Well... Why not?

On other parts of that message... Relationships are not easy ones because humans are not easy ones. Me and my wife have been together 10 years and 3 months. I would lie if I were to say that it's been easy 10 years. It had taken lots of work and effort to keep this thing working. Sometimes I have wondered is it really worth that much work. I've always come to conclusion that it is. It's just not possible to live one's life like at bachelor times when one had made commitment to other. Relationship cuts out far share of freetime. And that cut ain't only hugging, kissing and having sex. It means cooking, cleaning, paying bills, arguing, visiting people and doing things together, too. And those things we have done together... It's means lots of compromises. Sometimes we do something I like and sometimes things she likes. I've watched some episodes of horrible soap operas with her for example, just to be together. She has done same to me with action movies for example. Plus side is that I've found out new things I like because I've done compromise and done something she wanted to do. And same thing goes vice versa. But most of times it has not been that nice - it's more obligation than pleasure (being together is that pleasure part so there has been some pleasure too - minor part, but still).

We met at school when we were 7 years old. We were two years at same grades and then we parted. 11 years later we met again because we have both applied to same school, at different lines thou. At first day I've met one woman and made acquaintance with her. At second day I noticed her there at auditorium and thought that I go there and chat with her more. I sat there, said mornings and looked woman who was sitting with her. She felt familiar, somehow. Then I asked if I met her earlier or know her from before. She said no. Then I asked whether she had lived at certain part of that town as kid and she said yes. Then I said my name and she remembered me because we had this certain rivalry at basic school. We both laughed and talked about our classmates and what they have done after basic school. After that we hanged out together sometimes at school and I became friends with her. At one point she asked me to visit her for coffee and I did. We talked and talked and came good friends. We visited each other and had endless discussions, sometimes until 4 at morning. And then at one point we both just noticed that we had more feelings to each other than just friendship. Then we ended up talking whether we should try relationship and jeopardize our friendship or play it safe (neither of us was looking for companion and we both appreciated our friendship). We took the risk and here we are, 10 years after that solution. I've never regretted our relationship, even when things have been hard and difficult and when the continuance of our relationship has been at discussion. So, relationships are difficult but they have their plus sides. I've noticed that even when it's really difficult problems can be solved if there is will from both sides. And if they can be solved it's worth effort to solve them. If I look backwards this ten years I can say that I'm happy now and that it's been happy ten years. Difficult, at times filled with tears, but still happy (as whole).

Why it has been so happy relationship? I think that's because we had some key similarities from start. We are both hedonists and like spiritual things, philosophy, poetry and so on... Maybe most important thing is that we are both optimists and have good sense of humour which we use lot. It's bliss that one can usually laugh at times of trouble. There are some things that are different in us, which is good also. It spices up our porridge nicely (although sometimes it goes too hot - nothing that some sweet would not correct, thou ).

Funny trivia : at first my wife thought that I was gay because I did not look at after other females (I did but not while she was present), I wrote poems and because she knew some gay men and find me similar to them.