Author Topic: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me  (Read 123735 times)

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Offline Kobi

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #45 on: November 28, 2006, 12:47:30 am »
I'm a gamer, not a geek ;)

2 completely different things. I even dropped the whole "proffesional gamer" thing recently. I'm really trying, putting myself out to girls, but not getting any response.

I gave up pro-gaming as well when I got my ass kicked hard by a newbie. But don't rush to much with the girls, it just gets lame after some time, belive me.

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #46 on: November 28, 2006, 12:51:13 am »
I'm a gamer, not a geek ;)

I'm really trying

WOAH THERE. Girls can tell if you're trying too hard. Don't try to be someone you're not.

Offline cloudstrifex

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #47 on: November 28, 2006, 12:57:15 am »
I'm a gamer, not a geek ;)

I'm really trying

WOAH THERE. Girls can tell if you're trying too hard. Don't try to be someone you're not.

This is so true. Not with me so often but I can see it happening with guys who are really cocky and think they're gonna get all the pussy.....then fail horribly. Then they wonder why they were denied. I don't like to break it to them so I just go along with it. ;D

Offline Trezker

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #48 on: November 28, 2006, 01:03:28 am »
Our instincts is what makes us animals.
Most people are fine with that, they don't care that the world is overpopulated and that we're killing this world as long as they're able to make more people.

I am one of the few who doesn't wan't to be an animal. I don't even like being a biological lifeform, it really sucks.

I did try this sex thing once, wasn't much to brag about. The best feeling I know is when I do some really good programming.

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Offline Xhu

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #49 on: November 28, 2006, 01:07:14 am »
Our instincts is what makes us animals.
Most people are fine with that, they don't care that the world is overpopulated and that we're killing this world as long as they're able to make more people.

I am one of the few who doesn't wan't to be an animal. I don't even like being a biological lifeform, it really sucks.

Sounds like Nietzsche.
(i) There will come a day when nothing you did matters. But it is not today. Here and now, you are alive.
(ii) Live well under your own authority.
(iii) Abolishing suffering is impossible. Lessening suffering is mandatory.

Offline slippy0

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #50 on: November 28, 2006, 01:10:08 am »
The only girl I ever really like continuously shows no interest in me even though I've told her. Since I can't stop liking her, all my other relationships suck and don't go anywhere.
I have a social Phobia which not only means I have trouble talking to her because of the usual girl-the-guy-likes problem, but I just have trouble talking to people in person unless we're good friends.

I'm not really complaining about sex, I'm only 16, nothing to really worry about yet.


Also, I'm deathly afraid of mushrooms. That's just sad.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2006, 01:12:28 am by slippy0 »
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Offline Fallout

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #51 on: November 28, 2006, 01:28:12 am »
I'm a gamer, not a geek ;)

I'm really trying

WOAH THERE. Girls can tell if you're trying too hard. Don't try to be someone you're not.

Oh, dont worry. I dont try -that- hard, I mean trying in the sense that instead of sitting here in my room playing games 24/7, I actually go out and talk to people, flirt etc.

I dont mean to say that I'm being a cocky asshole and showing off all the time. That's just not me.

Offline Gravehill

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #52 on: November 28, 2006, 02:38:29 am »
Oh goody goody good, my favourite subject is on topic-table. Now just make an (light) autopsy for this filthy creature called SEX. Sex is good, it releases stress (if sex-situation itself is not stressful in other ways). It can strenghten emotional bond between two (or more) individuals. It feels generally speaking good or can otherwise make people feel better. At darker side of sexuality there lies jealousy, abuse, violence, venereal diseases, unwanted pregnancies and other quite ugly things. Sex can heal and it can destroy. I'm going to focus on this more positive side of sexuality.

People have different sexual orientations. By orientation I don't mean only 'bout being gay or straight. There are certain individual signals that make us tick. Such signals can be for example smell (not necessarily natural human smell, it can be tobacco, leather, coffee or whatever), certain voices (certain tones of speak or music for example), certain points of pleasure around body (some parts of body are more sensitive than others but any skin to skin contact does the trick if everything else is ok), certain tastes, certain visual signals (boobs, beard, whatever) or talking skills. There are variation in these signals and how important they are for each individual although some of them might seem to be more common than others. Some of these signals might have something to do with genetic selection or biological reactions being subconscious ones but some of them might be learned or otherwise acquired. Amount of hormones have something to do about how sensitive people are for sexual arousal but there are other factors too that have to do with sexual activity. Most important factor is one's brains and more specifically psychological factors and what we call "mind". Saying that sexuality is only our animal side is underestimating that system's complexity since it works in so many and different levels. Anyways it's biological need which is stronger in some individuals and weaker in some others. Some might have lost it due various reasons, both biological or psychological. But since every human is individual there is wide variation in flavours of sex. Having more or less (or not at all) sex is not something that you can score like saying "everyone else has had more sex than me". Sex is not about counting times or partners but it's of how it's satisfying one's needs. If someone other needs sex twenty times a week and other needs one time a year it's perfectly ok if it is satisfying situation for everyone. If everyone involved is happy or feel content situation is normal. If it becomes problem then one might want to try to solve it.

How to solve problems dealing sexuality? Getting partner is not generally speaking best solution. More fruitful approaching is to map one's desire and try to figure out what one wants from sex. When one knows what he wants then one can figure out best way to deal with this need.

If it's only orgasm that one wants from sex this problem is easily solved since one can usually masturbate. If it's not possible due medical reasons seeking medical advice would be quite wise thing to do if it bothers. Orgasm is always orgasm although they differ in many ways. Every possible orgasm can be produced by own hand(s). But since I want to keep this thread clean and tastes differ I won't instruct anyone in this one. Everyone can use www and libraries since there are lots of text written about it. So, if it's about orgasms problem solved.

If it's physical warmth and feeling of closeness (touching, for instance) then it's not directly of sex. Most people need touching and this is something that's what we modern people are alienated from. There's not much hugs or kisses received after one is not little child anymore. Human touch releases stress (if there is no phobia or some other reason that makes people fear touching) so it's something that people miss at times. In some cultures is common to hug, shake hands, kiss or otherwise touch someone when meeting. All these customs serve purpose of creating positive, peaceful bond between individuals. They help to relieve that need of touching too. If someone just want to feel the warmth of other human there are other means to achieve this than love-relationship. Not every love-relationship includes touching (I mean both sex and other ways of physical nearness) which can be sometimes the reason for adultery too. What are these other means to get feeling of nearness, then? It's perfectly ok if one enjoys visiting barber, manicyrist, massage or whatever. Although they are non-sexual activities they relieve the need to be touched at some degree. And if one thinks that it will be costly - if you have good friendship massaging is something that friends can do to others. In this sense men, or more even teenage boys are in weaker position than females. Females touch eachother lot but males don't in fear of getting "some sort of label". Just watch it. Females can walk hand by hand, hug, kiss, massage each other, do other's hairs or makeup and so on... But if two male friends are doing any of them together it's not so long before some guy with low self-esteem will be calling them names. This is very unfortunate because touching others (non-sexual way) is very good for one's own mind and body. And that's something males generally lack. And because they can't touch eachother (except by fists) they focus their all energy towards that only target females. And only way to get that touching is going near female. And to touch her it got to be sexual because when close then there's so many signals that it produces reaction of approval under belly. And that means sexual urge which can be painful CONSEQUENCE of trying to find human warmth.

Well, now I'm scratched surface of human's sexual psychology and needs. Purpose of these examples was to provide some ideas how one can approach this problem. It's not always sexual need that is behind urge to have sex, it can be something else as well. But since I have limited time I won't go further in this topic. Instead of that I give some methods you can try to ease "that" pain.

- Masturbation (not surprise?)
- Sports. Move a lot : run, walk, climb - push yourself to the limits. Heavy exercise produces pleasure comparatible to sexual one.
- Eat chocolate. Chocolate produces similar hormones than sex.
- Play games. Building up stress level (at reasonable amounts) produces good hormones. At the same time it moves one's thoughts somewhere else from things that are not so pleasant. It might seem odd but violence and sexuality are not so far away from eachother when speaking in terms of physical reactions.

That's for starters. Anyway, do not take pressure from sex. You have always self-service and it good to remember that telling something and doing it are different things. Especially males tend to talk bigger than they actually are. This is in everything : fishes captured, money won, women laid and so on... Even length of penis. According to some surveys I've read difference between questionnaires and actual measurements is averagely around two or three centimetres.
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Offline Fallout

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #53 on: November 28, 2006, 02:39:28 am »
Gravehill, once again, you hit the nail right on the head (with a fucking huuge hammer)

I just.. long to be touched. I want a feeling of closeness, 'nearness' as you say. I masturbate, I eat chocolate, and I play games, but it's not the same. I just want to be loved.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2006, 02:52:41 am by Fallout »

Offline Drain

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #54 on: November 28, 2006, 02:57:00 am »
My opinion on sex (virginity):

I think that both the two extreme and most common opinions about it are stupid. The first one being trying to lose ur virginity as fast as possible and feeling its a race to have sex as early as possible to be cool or w/e. The second being waiting for the right person or waiting until you get married. Dont make such a big deal about the first time. Face it... the first time will almost certanly suck :P You need experience to have good sehks. Also apple pie tasted just as good even if you taste it the first time when ur 14 or when ur 20. Ok im just tired and rambling now ^^ Bottom line is... dont make a big deal out of it and do what you feel like doing.

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #55 on: November 28, 2006, 03:07:47 am »
Oh, dont worry. I dont try -that- hard, I mean trying in the sense that instead of sitting here in my room playing games 24/7, I actually go out and talk to people, flirt etc.

I dont mean to say that I'm being a cocky asshole and showing off all the time. That's just not me.

What I'm saying is don't think you have to purposely push yourself up to the front so people know you're "available".
If it's a girl who you want to truly love you, true love tends to appear unplanned,unpredicted and completely unexpected.

Offline Gravehill

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #56 on: November 28, 2006, 04:14:32 am »
I just want to be loved.
Being loved, being taken care of. Closeness of other human can bring feelings of safety and continuity. Sometimes it just sucks to be male. Females have such natural attitude towards touching. When one would need MOST that touching, approval (at teens, that's it) no one touches. Girls have each other at same age-group, boys have no-one. It's bit like even the society were confused what that creature of teenage boy really is. It's not child, it's not male. Other boys are as confused also. Nobody wants to be child (admit that he wants love and closeness) and everyone just try to be more macho than 40 years old drunkard sailor. Talk like a sailor, smoke like a sailor, drink like a sailor and fuck like a sailor (maid in every port, you know ;) ) All it brings is trouble and feeling of rejection grows.

At post-war time there has been many child without fathers. There were few models and most of them were scarred for life from war. After that there was rebuilding societies. Countryside was slowly sucked empty and those few surviving fathers were put to factories for most of the days. Kids hardly saw their fathers. They did not feel father's touch or could not sit at their father's lap too often. They were taught that if they don't obey their mother it's father who gives them punishment afterwards. Then when the tired father came from work it was spanking time for kids. After 15-hours at work I think that they did not have too much time to touch their wifes either. Male does touch only for punishment or sex.It's easy to see how this model of "male's don't touch" has born.

This has been continued since then. That legacy of destruction has continued. Problem of nowadays is lack of good male models. Boys don't see how their fathers work. It's hard to be proud of parent if one does not know what he does. Only legacy they see is their fathers who have not learned how to touch. So they take what they see. Man that does not touch, wants to be strong survivor who laughs at death, man who can show his feelings only when drunk. And sons repeat their fathers model and so the chain goes on. Or does it have to be that way?

Touching and being close is something that has to be learned. To accept the touch and to touch. And to approve oneself as it is. If one approves oneself and has clear image of his bodily and psychological dimensions one can accept others to come more close. In such situations all the others are not only threats, they are possibilities. One has to protect himself physically and psychologically at some degree but generally more acknowledged person is of one's own limits and capabilities more free and elastic that "shield" is. It's quite complex thing, that touching and it can happen both in physical or in psychological levels. Highest forms of love, or sexuality, is when people feel that connection both on physical and psychological levels.

I think about my mind or your immaterial self (soul) as force. I think about my material self (body) as instrument.  Know the force, know the instrument. When they are in harmony that instrument is capable to beautiful music. Wrong amount of force breaks the instrument and instrument that's in bad shape makes the force grow weak. Harmony is essential. That's basic theory.

Now, with certain other instruments it's voice is very fine and beautiful. They are in harmonious, synchronized state. They support and fix eachother's sound and together they make beautiful music. On the other hand, some other instruments make it's voice drown and others distort it. That only make noise. Trick is to know what to play, in what company, when and how loud. There's always relationship inside each participant and then relationship between each participant. That makes amount of relationships is amount of participants square two. More participants means more relationships and that means it's more difficult to find that harmony which makes beautiful music. Creating random noise is easy but music takes more effort and skills. It all starts from knowing thy force and instrument and then knowing other instruments and forces. In some cases one can use his own force and instrument and make that other instrument resonate as well... Just to think how someone's mere voice or words may feel like actual physical touch at spine... Rare but pleasurable!

Well... I think that's enough touching for this night. Hopefully my words had some sense in someone's mind.
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Offline cloudstrifex

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #57 on: November 28, 2006, 04:21:12 am »
They made sense in my mind. Wise words indeed Gravehill. :)

Offline Bearfoot

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #58 on: November 28, 2006, 06:04:52 am »
I'm turning 31 on Wednesday.  I've had one sexual encounter.
* Fallout hugs Bearfoot

Would you rather have no carrot, or have one dangling in your face just out of reach?

Thanks man, but it's ok.  I'ts somewhat by choice, somewhat saving myself for my mate.. :)

Hopefully one of these days I can have sex with someone I love.. *grumbles*
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Offline Sirix

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Re: Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
« Reply #59 on: November 28, 2006, 06:25:56 am »
yeah, it procreates the race... human instinct and all that jazz.
but it kind of ruins the point of human instinct when you cover it in rubber.

No no no...

Human instinct is to do things we enjoy, yes? Sex is meant to be enjoyable, otherwise our race wouldn't have even made it out of the water.

Professor science says: It's actualy more probable that the enjoyment we draw from sex was evolved  because early-humans weren't having -enough- sex and risking dying out.

PS: and just out of curiosity... and no hard feelings towards gravehill.  Does anyone else skip right over those page long posts?