Author Topic: worst sexual experience ever  (Read 93910 times)

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Offline Blastyr

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #330 on: July 15, 2011, 07:45:12 pm »
*Riax cast 'Greater Thread Revival.'

I glanced at the Who's Online list and a guest was reading this thread. I have something to add.

My (now ex-) boyfriend (I don't really wanna use his real name; let's call him "Kyle.") and I were at my house one day. We were down in the basement, and had just lined up when all of the sudden, I hear the screen door open upstairs. He doesn't hear it, because it isn't his house, and his ears aren't attuned to the sounds stuff makes. So, in the split second between my brain registering the sound and me abruptly sitting up, he starts pushing, and our combined movement forces it all in at once. Luckily, my younger brother (who was the one opening the door) didn't hear me scream my string of obscenities. (I vaguely recall yelling something like, "FUCKSHITSONOFABITCH.") He got in and went straight to his room as usual.

Now, at this point, I'm clearly in pain, and you'd think "Kyle" would at least say sorry or ask me if I'm okay. Nope. After a moment, he just starts going at it. I tell him to hold still a bit longer, and he just says, "it'll feel good in a second." Well, it didn't, but he finished anyway. At the time, I couldn't bring myself to really be mad at him. (I guess I've always been the kind of person to never give up on a relationship; I've only ever dumped one person, and that was the girlfriend I had when I realized I liked guys.) Looking back, however, I can clearly see he was a real dick.

Anyway, that's my worst experience. My first boyfriend gave terrible head, but that seems trivial in light of the above. Anyone else have any revisions to make since they last posted?
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Offline machinaeFREAK

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #331 on: July 23, 2011, 06:08:51 pm »
I don't know if this counts as a worst experience, and I've probably already posted it in the some things topic, but fuck that I wanna be popular too!

So, when I was in the second last class of elementary school, (7th grade?) we got this guy in our class who I hung out with when I was like 5 years but never talked to again until that day. His name was also Tim, so that worked as a good glue for building up a friendship. I gradually got to like him more and more, until I kind of 'decided' that I had a crush on him. I never talked about that, tho I spend more time with him. After elementary school he moved to a town which is about 2 miles away, and I found him on FB so I hope I can talk to him once again.

Anyway story is that at like the last day before he moved, we were talking about stuff in the evening at a summer day. It was not a real dramatic goodbye, more of a dissapointed one. So I also had my thoughts he was gay, as he never really took interest in girls and treated them as 'normal' people (You know, the whole boys vs girls thing) and he always smelled nice. So at that evening I thought multiple times about telling me I was gay and maybe give him a kiss, but I never did that. I really felt like crap for the next few days, as it was possibly my first chance at getting a kiss or getting a boyfriend. I still believe it's the same feeling as a bad sexual experience, we all know how sorrow feels.
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Offline Einkoro

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #332 on: July 25, 2011, 03:38:59 am »
LOL, I'm still a virgin but I know I'll last longer than 3mins ;D , thats fucking funny. Not all Americans have such problems, however Draconis might......

Hahahah. Trust me. Your first time, it'll all be over in seconds. You'll be lucky if you last a minute.

I found it to be the opposite. I've yet to have a sexual experience that surpassed the first in duration, excitement or quality. Thanks to setting the bar so damn high I find everything disappointing in comparison.

Edit: Durr apparently I didn't hit the new posts button. I thought I stepped into the tardis reading over my post.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2011, 03:40:47 am by Einkoro »
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Offline evilcandybag

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #333 on: July 25, 2011, 06:08:16 pm »
I thought I stepped into the tardis reading over my post.

Once you've heard a scotsman say "tardis", you'll never want to hear it in any other dialect again. And no, this is not related to the topic of this thread.
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Offline Bearfoot

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #334 on: September 04, 2011, 06:41:50 pm »
*sighs* 

I don't know why I'm sharing this and if you're homophobic I suggest not continuing to read this.

but my one experience.

he performed oral on me.

I'm told I orgasmed.

I didn't even feel it.

to all you virgins, be picky.  And do not be ashamed of begin a virgin.

I wish I hadn't done it.

Also, for you guys. I'm 35.. that was my one time.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2011, 06:43:47 pm by Bearfoot »
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Offline Bearfoot

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #335 on: September 04, 2011, 06:46:01 pm »

actually, the current accent to avoid here is the mexican-girl-with-attitude.
yknow, where the entire sentance is all one word, composed of poorly pronounced words like "stuped"(stoo-ped) and "hyphy"...which i have NO idea what that means...and i live here
[/quote]

hyphy maybe High-Five? idk just an idea ;D
[/quote]

Sounds like a VD to me..
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Offline Jack Lupino

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #336 on: September 06, 2011, 06:12:44 pm »
machinaeFREAK we already know you plenty, i even have a picture of you!

Offline machinaeFREAK

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #337 on: September 06, 2011, 08:06:14 pm »
/gasp

This is treason!
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Offline ~futilite~

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #338 on: September 06, 2011, 09:03:18 pm »
Not really, but can I consider it harassment if people keep on posting things that nobody finds funny, or things that are not as casual/insider as they think, or things that are clearly in the wrong thread?

Offline machinaeFREAK

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #339 on: September 06, 2011, 10:34:18 pm »
Whatcha know bout threads

Ahum.

You meant Good Mr. Freak, or Good Mr. Lupino?
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Offline Ziza

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #340 on: September 07, 2011, 12:14:00 am »
Nah, he obviously means me.

Offline SJGamble

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #341 on: September 07, 2011, 08:56:41 pm »
Auto-erotic asphyxiation with my last girlfriend....

Lets just leave it at that haha

Offline yas‮

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #342 on: September 07, 2011, 11:08:11 pm »
By auto-erotic you mean you were actually choking yourself?

Offline SJGamble

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #343 on: September 07, 2011, 11:17:21 pm »
Nah she was choking me...

Offline Bearfoot

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Re: worst sexual experience ever
« Reply #344 on: September 08, 2011, 03:01:50 am »
then it would just be Erotic asphyxiation...

but yah.. don't do that.  :P
I'm only one, but still I am one.  I can't do everything, but I can do something-
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"There are never enough reasons to get drunk. I, for example am going out tomorrow to celebrate.. um.. Tuesday.:
Lexx β