Author Topic: Some lyrics I wrote.  (Read 3689 times)

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Offline finaleclipse06

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Some lyrics I wrote.
« on: May 20, 2006, 07:41:39 pm »
Tell me what you think! Feedback/comments/criticism is welcome and appreciated. Thanks! :)

Tainted By Innocence
This day couldn’t be any worse,
I’m at my wit’s end.
I need to know,
What makes the world turn on its axis.
The sea of images now presenting
Itself before me
Reveals that I was once pure.
Someone please help me.

The long road to travel now becomes
A brief stroll in the park.
Everything is known to me.
Everything, and perhaps far too much.
The images in my mind are tainting me,
Corrupting me.
In my innocence I desired
Complete knowledge,
But what I found, was not what I had
Hoped for.
No more. This is the end.

Temptation is lurking behind my back.
Looming over me, it cries
For me to give in to my desires.
I don’t like to think
That I was once pure, untainted,
But that now my soul is as black as
You will ever see.
This is not for me.

A child in mind,
Becomes a man in desire,
But who would have thought
That he’d want to be rid of
The “gift” he received.

The path slowly descends,
But the downward spiral
Starts to quicken, circling down
Into self-damnation.
I cry out for someone, anyone
“Help me, I don’t want to die.”
I hear nothing but the echoes
Of my tormented soul.

The purity I once knew is gone,
Replaced with a darkness so vile
That I detest to even
Speak of it.
The devil has me in his grasp, and he’d
Love for nothing more than
For me to give up control to him,
And leave my thirst
In his hands.

Purity, come purity,
Cleanse my soul.
I don’t want the knowledge
I have obtained.
It’s devouring me.

A child in mind,
Becomes a man in desire,
But who would have thought
That he’d want to be rid of
The “gift” he received.

The rest of the story I leave to the darkness inside
Me to tell to deaf ears that don’t care
About a tormented soul.
So now this is the end. Goodbye.

I burn in knowledge that is
Sin to my mind,
Burn in knowledge that
Is bound to corrupt.
Anyone who knows that
Will easily stay alive.

Offline Jack Lupino

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2006, 10:56:57 pm »
Quote
This day couldn’t be any worse,
Someone please help me.
The images in my mind are tainting me,
Corrupting me.
In my innocence I desired
No more. This is the end.


Come on, just the first 2 paragraphs contain too much wristcutting density for me to actually read on.

MDX

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2006, 11:12:26 pm »
Less harshly put, but yeah same.

Can i ask why you write lyrics? honestly your reason for writing lyrics. and what you see of them.

Offline Jack Lupino

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2006, 11:16:18 pm »
I didn't mean it to brought out like that, but hey, im just a guy speaking his mind so yeah.

I don't really think its a good idea for anyone to put their lyrics up here, because things will be interpeted the wrong way, or alas, not as you truly meant them.

Second, lyrics ALWAYS SOUND EMO.

And they just come out better with music :)

MDX

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2006, 11:22:44 pm »
thats true. it not lyrics until its with a song, until then its just poetic words.. or words..

i must admit im tired of hearing the same old cliche situations defined in such a straight forward effortless manner. like you know what the next lines gonna rhyme with, or be about. people need to put creative thought into what they say, it makes a fresh spin to the lyrics era.

Offline Jack Lupino

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2006, 01:52:06 am »
All your life you said goodbye
Turned away, killing time
Every day, as seconds pass
You'll know this peace, inside your head
Will never last

Confined to a life that slumbers in your wake
Every day its the same and you never got a break
The time passes by with no emotion on your face
Now you'll break out of this haze

Get ready for a change
-------------------

My lyrics are most of the times short, but i don't need much words to express my feelings/thoughts.

When you're writing much, you're going to trip over your own words and repeat what you're saying.

MDX

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2006, 03:14:20 am »
its ok to trip over your own, not over others. thats what im saying.

Offline Drakonis

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2006, 11:16:28 pm »
Edit: Warning, slightly absent minded post incoming.

Not all lyrics sound emo... you could be all like

"I LOVE THE MASU!
  MASU MAKES ME HAPPY
 I LOVE THE MASU!
  IM HUNGRY, WHO HAS SOME CHEEZITS?"

Omg, I have a bright and shining career ahead of me.


Offline finaleclipse06

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2006, 04:46:59 am »
mmmmm.....cheezits......

*gets hungry and goes to look for cheezits*

Offline bamFUnk

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2006, 05:17:22 am »
I don't mean to offend, especially because i couldn't write lyrics for corn let alone beans, but as i read that, i fealt my soul ripping in two very very slowly.  Im a fan of more happy cheery music, but compared to my lyrics "Get the fuck out of my head!" and proceding to pass out on the floor, i think they're pretty good.
In Canada cats grow on trees

Offline finaleclipse06

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2006, 05:47:04 am »
thanks dude :)

oh, by the way, i love your avatar ;D

Offline EizN

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Re: Some lyrics I wrote.
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2006, 03:56:07 pm »
for what musicstyle are those intended? just keep in mind that too much and too deep lyrics often gets lost in the audience head and they just dig the rhytmn or something instead ingoring the message. keep it simple for good singalong is my tip. i mean sure they are good... wrapped in and full of meaning but as i said...
METAL UP YOUR ASS!